#It's twice the amount of happy if I use it doing something that sparks joy

[leconcombrerit]

I will buy the prettiest notebooks and speed-write crack theories and analysis on whatever media I'm into at the moment and doodle the ugliest doodles to have ever been doodles on half-filled pages with a cute pen and I think that's the healthiest habit I've ever had

[tamatojam]

Okay I need to say this (feel free to disagree, it’s just my opinion!!)

Philza isn’t a bad dad. He’s a misguided one.

Think about it. Wilbur died? A few months ago? Which is not nearly enough time to grieve properly? Phil is probably only at about he anger stage at best.

So imagine your son snapping. You do your best to save him but it’s just to late, and then he begs you to kill him. His blood is on your hands, and you have to live with that.

You have to see his literal ghost. On the daily. And this ghost of your child, your pride and joy, says that he can only remember happy memories. And one of those memories is his death, and the fact that it was you who killed him. And you have to live with that.

And then there’s your youngest son. Who’s always had hope in his eyes and a fire in his heart, who’s always had this amazing ability to fight back and speak up.

And then one day that all changes.

You don’t know what happens, but you watch as your youngest son is banished from a nation he built with his barehands which is also one of the only things left of your dead son.

Something happens to him in that exile, and by the time he makes it to your home he’s subdued and paranoid and afraid.

He’s not who he used to be. But he gets better, maybe. He learns to trust your closest friend (or eldest son, if you wanna include Techno in the family dynamic) again. He gets some of his spark back.

So you send them off to complete a mission. To get the discs back, the one thing that might fully bring back your youngest child.

And then Technoblade comes home alone. Angry and defensive. Heart bleeding from the inside out because he’s a person, god damn it, and why can’t Tommy understand that?

Technoblade tells you that Tommy has once again sided with a government. Not just any government, but the government that exiled him. The government that drove your older son to madness and death.

Tommy has sided with the reason you have blood on your hands in the first place.

Technoblade asks you to destroy the government beyond repair.

And who are you to deny that opportunity?

The way you see it, destroying L’Manburg might be the only way to save Tommy. It already corrupted Wilbur, what’s to keep it from doing the same to your other child? You can’t stand the thought of having any more family blood on your hands.

So you team with two of the most powerful people on the server and you destroy it.

Your youngest child is resigned, but your dead child screams at you. He wails and cries, he tells you to be quiet and shames you for what you’ve done to the nation.

The nation that killed him.

All you can do is apologize, and say that he might understand one day. A few minutes later the ghost talks to you again, completely forgetting the disagreement. He asks you to bring him back to life.

You can do it, you know you can. You’ve been studying the ancient scriptures since the literal day after his death. Nothing, not even the impossibility of resurrection, is going to stop you from saving your child. Not this time.

(In the mean time, you rescue another scared child from emotional ruin, leading him out of a small dark room with writing on the walls. You couldn’t save Wilbur from that. Maybe you can save Ranboo.)

The day of the resurrection comes. You’re forced to relive the worst day of your life, twice. The ghost of your child is scared and hesitant. You put down your weapons and comfort him in a soft voice until he feels like he’s ready for the ritual.

And it doesn’t work. (Your youngest son is watching you fail.) But you won’t stop. (You’ve read the scriptures, you have one last plan.) You can save him. (Please, god, you just want to save him.)

You hunt down one of the rarest items in the world, a Totem. It reeks of death and dark magic, but if it can bring back your son than it will have been worth it.

You pray that it’s worth it. Because you don’t know what you’ll do if you can never hold your son again. You don’t know what you’ll do if one day your youngest son begs for you to kill him.

Those aren’t options you’re willing to let happen. Not on your watch.

Philza’s actions are misguided. He’s in unimaginable amounts of grief, and that sometimes makes it hard for him to understand what others need and want.

Everything he’s done has been to get Wilbur back, keep Tommy from following Wilbur’s path, and help Techno (either his oldest friend or eldest child) feel like something more than a weapon to be used.

He’s gone out of his way to give advice to and care for children that he reasonably shouldn’t feel the need to. (Tubbo, Ranboo, Fundy.)

He’s not perfect. Not by any means. Should he have destroyed L’Manburg? From an outward position, maybe not. But to him? It’s nothing more than a leech that took his children away from him, multiple times over. (Wilbur died three times due to L’Manburg and Tommy died twice.)

All he wants is to never have to hurt anyone he cares about ever again. This want has made him resistant to any ideas other than his own. It’s his guilt to bear and therefore his problem to fix.

Just because his labors are mostly off screen (Researching resurrection, planning L’Manburg’s destruction, etc.) doesn’t mean they aren’t there, or that they don’t have reasoning behind them.

He’s a parent that’s lost his family. Wouldn’t you do horrible things to avenge that? Wouldn’t you burn down the world just to give your children a bit of warmth?

(Again, these are just my thoughts!! I just wanted to explain why I’m a Philza apologist on one place :D you’re welcome to disagree!

This is also just about their characters on the Dream SMP, not the real life Content Creators.)

[tomtenadia]

Blind mistake

Rowaelin month - day 8

So, this fic was fighting me at the beginning. as I started, deleted and restarted a million times.

Then slowly the idea came and here it is. What I was not expecting was to write a A Little Braver AU.

Aelin and Rowan meet under different circumstances and are two different people from thee actual story. Aelin is still the captain at east station and Rowan still the airforce captain.

Yes, this is a happier fic but as Aelin said in KoA... she loved Rowan because it was him, the man who had known pain as deep as hers.

IN order to enjoy this fic you do not need to have read ALB. A part from Pete popping up for a brief second at the end, this is a complete stand alone story and no knowledge of ALB is needed.

Rowan sighed. His love life sucked so much that he ended up using a dating app. Since Lyria dumped him a year before he had been struggling to go back in the game. He had been on a few dates but so far none of the women he met had sparked his curiosity. Far too bland and with almost no personality or far too bothered by looks. Some of them had been downright stupid and he had been a gentleman and played along when all he wanted to do was run away screaming. The last nightmare had been a woman called Remelle who Lorcan had recommended to him. He had to feign food poisoning and pay the chef to let him escape from the back of the restaurant to flee the monster. He had paid the bill sneakily, and once home he had insulted Lorcan and his poor taste in women.

Now he was again in a restaurant, ready for probably another fiasco. He and the woman had chatted a bit and she had seemed interesting so he had dared to ask her out and she had accepted. On the paper it was all good. In reality he was getting ready for another crazy escape. Maybe he should just give up and live alone and become a grumpy old man.

He had a kingsflame on the table near him, their code to recognise each other at the restaurant. The fact that they knew very little about each other made him nervous. It was a recipe for disaster. He knew she was a personal shopper and that she liked movies and music. He was really dreading the encounter now, and started to realise that perhaps it had been a mistake. She could have lied.

Until he raised his head and he noticed the woman who had just entered the restaurant. He then spotted the flower pinned on her green dress as they had agreed. Gods, the woman was way too hot for him. There was a catch somewhere. His heart raced when realisation dawned on her face and she waved and started to walk to him. The smile. Damn, the smile could stop a man’s heart. The woman walking toward him was a goddess. He was expecting her to turn away for another table until she sat down in front of him at his table. Rowan was speechless.

“Sorry, I am late. Accident on the ring road. I stopped to give a hand to west station.” She used her hand to brush off the smudge of grease he had only just noticed she had.

“You stopped?”

“Yes,” she looked at him with a strange light in her eyes “I am a firefighter. I am the captain at east station.”

Rowan blinked twice. Shit. She was the wrong woman. She was not here for him. Of course. It was too good to be true. She had sat at the wrong table and a part of him was sad.

“I am Aelin.” she said and he knew that it had dawned on her as well that he was not her date “You are not Chaol.”

Rowan shook his head “I am Rowan.”

“Holy shit. I saw the kingsflame. The restaurant. And you smiled at me when I came in. I just assumed...” He did not want her to go. 

“Ach, I was having second thoughts anyway.” He shrugged.

In that moment the waiter came and they were hesitant for a moment then Aelin grabbed the menu and started ordering, surprising him. Rowan got some wine for both and they placed as well their order.

“Our dates are late anyway. Maybe stuck in the horrendous traffic out there.”

“You will not hear me complain.” Said Rowan with a smile “so, you stopped and helped?”

Aelin nodded, sipping a bit of her wine “I couldn’t resist it. West station was there but there were so many cars involved that I had to something. The traffic wasn’t moving anyway.”

Rowan could not believe the woman in front of him. Not only she was a goddess. She had even stopped to help her colleagues save people from a car crash on her way to a date. Where had she been all his life?

The waiter came with their order and smiled at the expression of joy when Aelin looked at the amount of food in front of her. Another point for her. She had an appetite. He had no need of another date ordering a boring salad. He was a healthy eater but loved a woman with an appetite, especially because he loved cooking.

“So Rowan, what do you do?” She asked him while tackling the gigantic prawn on her seafood tagliatelle.

“I am an airforce pilot. I am a captain.”

Her face lit up “as in the uniform and all? And the awesome planes?”

Rowan nodded.

Aelin was about to take another sip of her wine when two figures stopped at their table. A brown-haired man and a blonde woman. Both had a kingsflames pinned on their dresses.

“Excuse me but you are with my date.” Said the stranger.

Rowan looked up from his risotto “finders keepers.”

“And he is my date.” Said the woman in a shrill voice.

“What he said.” Added Aelin while eating another prawn.

“We got stuck in traffic. There is a massive road accident on the ring road.” Chaol complained, not letting it go.

“Yeah I know. I stopped to help and I still made it here before you.”

“So what does this mean?” Asked Chaol.

Aelin stared at Rowan. It was a no brainer. Chaol was cute but Rowan was sex on two legs. Between the silver hair and the green eyes he ticked all of the boxes. And he was a pilot. Chaol was an accountant.

“You two can go on a date together.” She suggested and hoped they took the hint.

“That is rude.”

“Oh shoot,” said Aelin covering her mouth in fake surprise “I must have left the fucks I have to give in my bunker gear.”

Chaol looked at her aghast. The blonde woman turned on her heels and left.

“You missed an opportunity.” He added before he left as well.

As soon as he left Rowan burst into laughter and she joined him “no fucks to give…” he said trying to catch his breath “I have to steal this when my CO drives me nuts.”

“Ansel, one of my firefighters, she taught me that.”

“It’s fucking perfect.” 

And both resumed their dinner without the awkwardness of a blind date. No stupid questions like how many siblings do you have or what is your favourite colour. No, with Rowan there had been a connection from the start and the joke had been the final proof.

“Most guys would have left running at my joke. I have a big and foul mouth. Not very lady-like.” She apologised. “I work in a male dominated place. Apart from Ansel and my two paramedics, I am surrounded by guys and well, they are not easily scared.”

Rowan chuckled “I am in the military. My CO uses fuck you as a term of endearment and one of my lieutenants has the record for the most innuendos in a sentence.”

“How many?” Asked Aelin curios.

“Ten.”

“No friggin’ way.”

Rowan nodded solemnly. Then looked at her and he was glad she sat at his table mistaking him for another man. They had known each other only for twenty minutes but he was dumbstruck by the woman.

She was fierce, intelligent and with a wicked sense of humour.

The meal had been perfect. Aelin had polished every single plate in front of her and also ordered dessert. And when she offered to pay for half the bill he had smiled. He had plenty of dates where the woman didn’t even offer. She took it for granted that he, being the man, was the one paying. He had no issues with that, he was happy to pay, but the fact that Aelin offered made him realise that she was different.

They left the restaurant and he gasped when he saw a red pickup reading Terrasen fire department on its livery, parked just outside the restaurant.

“Way to scare the patrons away.” He joked.

“Sorry. Yesterday I took a lift to work from a colleague and I forgot for a moment that I had a set the date for tonight after my shift. So I grabbed my work pickup to get here. I need to go back to the firehouse and return it.”

“I’ll follow, you drop off the pickup and then I drive you home.”

“I can take a cab, you don’t have to come all the way to the station and back.”

“Humour me,” he said giving her a beautiful smile and she accepted.

Ten minutes later they were at east station and she parked the pickup in its corner at the side and out of the way.

She saw Rowan getting off the car.

“Welcome to east station.” She said extending her arms. She pushed a button and the rolling doors slid up and two big trucks appeared in front of him. He had always wanted to see one up close.

“Cap,” said a man at her back “what are you doing here? I thought you were on a date?” He smiled “that bad? I told you accountants were a bad idea.”

Aelin laughed “looks like I got myself an airforce pilot instead.” She winked at him and Rowan’s heart skipped a beat.

“I’ll tell you next shift, Pete. I just brought back the pickup before Dorian kills me.”

She waved at her relief captain and followed Rowan in his car and told him her address.

While he drove she studied him. He was wearing a nice pair of jeans, a shirt and a black leather jacket. She should have guessed he was military. Aedion had the same posture and he was ex-army.

“Which house?” Asked Rowan, waking her up from her thoughts.

“The one with the blue door.”

He parked and walked with her up to the door “I had so much fun tonight,” she said to him, not wanting him to leave her.

“I am so glad that you sat at the wrong table. This was the best blind date ever.” He looked at her and wanted to kiss her so badly but they had just met and he did not want to pass a a pig.

She moved a step toward him “I am glad too.” And her lips brushed his cheek in a kiss “perhaps we could go on a proper date. One where we are actually meant to meet each other.”

Rowan sighed relieved “It would make me very happy.”

Aelin rummaged in her bag until she found a pen then grabbed his wrist and pulled up his cuff a bit and wrote down two numbers.

“The first one is my personal mobile number. The second one is the direct number to my office. I am known to leave my mobile in my bunker gear.”

“Thank you.”

“Let me know a date and if I am not free we can find a better one. Us firefighters have crazy long shifts so I need to be off.”

He took her pen and her wrist and wrote his number “then you text me. A day that you are off shift. I work regular hours. This makes more sense.”

He took a step down from the few step and she hated the idea of him leaving.

“Goodnight, Rowan.” She opened the door and looked at him one last time.

Rowan waited for her to disappear behind the door and then went back to his car and was grateful for the best blind mistake of his life.

[stanchonkyman]

☆Fear of Heights☆

☆Stanley Pines x Reader☆

♡Fluff♡

-•☆~~~~☆•-

You had been waiting all day for this moment. It had been a long day at the Mystery Shack. The place had been flooding with customers, just waiting to be scammed by none other than Stanley Pines, better known as Mr. Mystery. Though, that had became part of the fun for everyone in Gravity Falls. You, of course just loved the place. You started working there in the beginning of the summer, meeting Stan, Wendy, Soos, and of course Dipper and Mable. You loved them of course. They felt like family to you by now.

But there was someone who always managed to spark more feeling in you than others.

Stanley Pines.

You stood at the sink and washed your hands of all the grime you gained while working, when you felt a presence behind you. She froze and turned your head slightly. Stan was there meeting your gaze. "Oh-! God- Hey there, Stan." You greeted with a slight sigh if relief. "You really startled me there." Stan laughed at your statement. "Hey. That's what I'm here for." He winked, getting a chuckle out of you. This brought that genuine smile to his face that you always loved. Surprisingly, you were the only ones aside from Mable, and Dipper that could manage to give him that smile. The thought of that always warmed your heart.

"Okayyyy.. well, why exactly were you trying to sneak up on me? Its not like you just wanted to scare me." You urged, giving a playful smirk toward Stan. Though, he kept his little smile and looked to the side. "Well. I actually did have something to ask of you." He said. "Oh? What is it?" You tilted your head with curiosity. "Mable, Dipper and me are going to the carnival tomorrow. How about you come along?" He asked. It felt like fireworks were going off inside you. Finally. Some more time with Stan outside of work. That was always a good time.

"Of course! Sounds fun!" You chirped. "Great. See you tonight at 5." Stan grinned. You nodded. "Perfect." You swung your arms around him in a happy hug. You felt Stan stiffen at your motion. You froze and noticed how forward you could have seemed. But before you could pull away, his arms wrapped around you in return. He relaxed into the hug and laid his head against your shoulder. Your face heated up and you gave a light chuckle, just glad you hadn't upset him with your move. "Well. I'll see you then. Dont have too much fun without me." You released yourself from the hug and sent him a wink before basically flying out the door. "You dont have to tell me twice!" He shouted to you with a wave, followed by a distant chuckle.

Once you got home, you nearly melted into your bed. The amount of joy you felt was indescribable. You quickly got up. You did want to look nice.. Stan was going to be there after all. He may be old, but he certainly has standards. You went and opened up your closet, having yet another spark of joy when you saw all the photos of you and the pines family attached to your door. So, you picked out some jeans and a nice comfortable top. After a moment, you put it on and looked in the mirror. You (S/C) skin looked radiant and your (H/C) strands fell delicately. You made any more adjustments till you felt it was perfect. You shot yourself a smile. "Well, (Y/N). Here we go." You grabbed a bag and slung it over your shoulder before sprinting out the door.

After running along the sidewalk for a while, you saw the carnival out in a field. There were rides and cheesy games with prizes, along with those snack stands with all the crappy fried foods. You hadn't been to a carnival in so long.. you nearly felt like you were a kid once more. The smells and the sounds of laughter really gave you a sense of joy. Of course it would be even better as soon as- "Hey (Y/N)! (Y/N)! Over here!" There it was. Mable called your name and turned and jogged over to the group. "Hey (Y/N)! I'm so glad you could make it!" Mable gushed happily, jumping up and hugging you happily. She had become very fond of you over the summer. Dipper looked up and smiled awkwardly. "Hello (Y/N)." He greeted. You waved back to him happily, then feeling another pair of arms wrap around you from behind.

"Stan! Hi!" You chirped, not even having to look back to know it was him. You recognized that hold anywhere. "Hey there (Y/N). I see you didnt ditch us." He grinned, releasing you from his strong grip. For an oldie, he was pretty strong. And that didn't surprise you in the least. You laughed. "Of course I wouldn't ditch you! Why would I do that? You guys are my best friends." You smiled happily to the three. Earning big smiles from each of them. "Ohhhh!!! Grunkle Stan! (Y/N)! I have an ideaaaaa!" She said through a near squeal. Dipper noticed what she was talking about and immediately recoiled and looked at you and Stan. Stan and you looked at one another then back at Mabel. "What is it?" Stan questioned and you nodded as if wondering the same thing.

"You both should go on the ferris wheel together!! You know, like couples do when they get to the top, then give each other and kiss!" Mabel chirped. Both your and Stans faces erupted in a red color. "Mabel-!" You choked out, covering your mouth. "Theres no way in hell-" Stan was cut off by Mabel. "Why notttttt? Are you scareddddd?" She grinned, holding her arms between her back with a seemingly innocent smile. "Oh boy.." Dipper facepalmed and shook his head slowly. "I-" Stan gritted his teeth. "You.." he looked at you. Then back at Mabel, narrowing his eyes. "I ain't scared. I ain't scared of anything." Suddenly, Stans hand grasped yours tightly, your hand basically be engulfed by his.

Before you could protest, Stan was at the ferris wheel. "Go ahead and get in." He told you. You bit your lip and did so. Stan took a breath and got in beside you. The person working the ferris wheel lowered the bar once your seatbelts were secured. Stan still gripped your hand.. and when the ride jerked to a start, his hand tightened around yours. You winced and bit your lip, carefulling looking at Stan. He looked like he was trying to keep a calm face, but he was sweating a bit. He looked.. nervous or scared? Was he afraid of heights? You weren't sure, but you rubbed his hand softly with your thumb. He looked at you. "You okay...(Y/N)?" He asked in a tone as if he was as trying to sound tough.

"Yes... I'm fine. Are you okay though? You seem stressed.." You said softly, wrapping your free arm around him carefully. The cart rocked, causing Stan to flinch. "Hey, hey. Its okay." You said softly, rubbing his arm gently. "You don't like heights, do you?" You questioned softly. Stan looked at you cautiously, shaking his head slightly. "Alright. That's fine. It doesnt matter how tough you are. We all have fears." You reassured him. He shook his head. "No.. I'm not scared." He said. "Its okay to be vulnerable, Stan." You moved and held both of his hands in yours. "Everything's going to be okay. We're going through this together." You reassured him, holding his hands tightly. Then, the ferris wheel stopped. You looked around and that's when you noticed. You were at the top.

Stan froze in place, keeping his 'tough' face. You could sense the stress radiating off of him. "Stan.." you looked at him and cupped his cheek. He looked at you quickly, subconsciously leaning into your touch. Your cheeks warmed slightly. "I'm right here. You're safe. Just focus on me." You told him, earning a small nod from him. He leaned closer to you. "Stan?" He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. The cart rocked slightly and Stan barely reacted this time. He seemed focused on something else. And that something was you. He leaned his forehead against yours. Your face burned a deep red. You could faintly hear Mabel cheering in the background. Stan gave you a look as if asking for permission. You thought for a second. Then have a soft nod. "As long as it's because you want to.."

Without another word, Stan's lips touched yours, and like that the world seemed to freeze. Everything froze and all you could feel was the man in front of you. You cupped both of his cheeks and closed your eyes, melting into the kiss. His scruff brushed against your skin. His hands tightened around your waist to keep you secured. You rubbed his cheek gently with your thumb. It was soft and loving.. which wasnt something you expected from Stan. You expected it to be rough almost, but not in this moment. Maybe it was the fear or the stress. All traces of tension left his body when he pulled his lips back to take a breath. His forehead rested against yours. "Everythings okay. We survived." He looked up. You both reached the bottom of the ferris wheel.

The bar lifted up and the both of you got up, gripping each others hand as you stepped forward, back to Mabel and Dipper. "OH MY GODDDDD!! I got a new scrapbook moment! Look!" Mabel held up her scrapbook, showing both you and Stan a picture of your guy's kiss. Your face reddened. But Stan merely smiled. "Nice catch, sweetie." He ruffled her hair, earning a happy giggle from her. "Anyways, you both go play around. (Y/N) and me have some fun to have." Stan looked at you a sent a wink your way, causing you to go more red than before. Mabel nodded and grabbed Dippers arm, running off and soon theh dissapeared into the crowd. You looked back at Stan. He grinned at you and pressed a kiss to your cheek. You couldnt help but smile. "So.. does this mean?" You questioned shyly. Stan wrapped his arm around your shoulder. "Take it as you will, toots." He pressed another kiss to your temple. You giggled and laid your head against him. Today was a good day..

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 6.4}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 4.7k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

The moment they were back in Snape's office, Robin got started on making them coffee. It was early afternoon by now, and she was well aware that there still was plenty of work to be done before they could move on over to the lab. Once again she offered her help with his work, but his (admittedly very much justified) objection remained that he couldn't let her grade other students' essays, and Robin had to accept that. Thus she merely sat down at the smaller table with her own coffee after handing him his, and henceforth listened to him complaining about the many stupid mistakes the second years had made in their essays. Eventually it became a real game between them, to keep a list of the most ridiculous things people had written in their essays, and to rank them by their level of idiocy. Robin, void of anything else to do for once, actually wrote it all down on a piece of parchment, both the most ridiculous statements and the ranking points they had given them.

In the end, they successfully managed to miss dinner entirely, as their game was more entertaining than either of them had anticipated. But the work was done, and Robin was proud to say that she had made it less dreadful for him after all. Even if not entirely on purpose, but still very much willingly.

"You know, you could probably fill an entire lesson just with reading out the dumbest quotes on this list and have the students figure out why it's so wrong." Robin sighed with a smirk as she stretched in her chair. The piece of parchment in front of her looked almost like a piece of art at this point, littered not only with the most desperately wrong quotes from the essays, but also Robin's corrections of them, as well as some extended elaborations on the matter and little drawings of ingredients. Yes, she had been that bored between judging ridiculous quotes.

"I could. Should I, however?" He raised an eyebrow at Robin with a not-smirk while he got up from behind his desk at last, only to sit down again across from her at the small table. Without taking his eyes off hers, he snatched the piece of parchment out from under her fingertips and only then lowered his gaze to inspect it. A few seconds passed before he frowned, and Robin smiled.

"I think you should." She remarked innocently, replying to his earlier question while leaning back in her chair. "Have them correct the mistakes, that is, not mock the person who made them."

"I am surprised that you bothered to correct them."

"Didn't have much else to do between judging students' idiocracy. Besides, at this point I really should know the second year topics, shouldn't I? Did them twice, after all."

"Twice because…?"

"Once in my own second year and then again last year when tutoring Jorien and Cas. So technically I only did them once, and then tried to teach them a second time."

"You still tutor your roommates regularly?"

"Yeah." Robin shrugged with a smile. "Not just them though, and by far not only in potions. Just this morning I actually had sixteen students, can you imagine?! Sixteen thirteen-year-olds! And they actually listened to what I said!!!"

Now Snape's eyebrows rose in surprise, but the not-smirk turned into a real one; small, but definitely visible. "I had no idea that was even a possibility."

"Me neither!" Robin laughed, then kept on grinning. "So, just in case you get a suspicious amount of high quality essays from your third years next week, you know who to blame. Or who to thank."

"We will see about that." He replied with the same smirk, but then continued on a more serious note as he took another look at the parchment in his hands. "May I keep this?"

"Sure." Robin shrugged easily, and for whatever reason her heart skipped a beat. "I hope you can decipher all of it… I didn't specifically try for readability."

"I have been reading your handwriting for years, Robin. Not only in tests or essays written specifically to be handed in, but in scribbles and working notes as well. I would even say I know it quite as well as my own."

"Good." Robin couldn't help grinning at him with enough excitement to make him frown a little in suspicion. Before he could ask however, she had already summoned her handbook out of her backpack and dropped it on the table in front of him with a dull thud. "Because there's something else I have been dying to show you."

_______________

A quiet rustling of sheets, soft breathing, hushed whispers. "Robin…" The mattress dipped gently at her side. She smiled, curling a little closer around the new source of warmth. "ROBIN!!!"

She jumped at the loud voice, sitting up with a start, and her head bumped against something hard in an instant.

"Ow…" She grumbled with a deep frown, rubbing her now aching forehead in an instant, while her eyes finally went into focus enough to see Cas sitting in front of her on her bed, rubbing her forehead just the same. Jorien sat on the other side, laughing at both their misery without a hint of guilt or pity.

"Very funny, you guys…" Robin groaned tiredly as she crossed her legs underneath her to make room for the two girls. "The last time you woke me up like this was-..."

"Happy birthday, Robin!" Both girls cheered before she could finish her sentence, and Robin had to smile despite the small mishap.

"Thank you! Is it really the twentieth already? Again?" She sighed, but by now she knew that resistance to Cas was hard, and resistance to Jorien was entirely futile.

"Twentieth of October, six o'clock in the morning!" Cas grinned, and crossed her legs as well while Jorien followed suit a few seconds later.

"Six?! Good gods…" Robin groaned exaggeratedly and frowned at them with a desperate smile. "Why on earth would you wake me up this early?"

"Because it's Thursday and our present for you requires some time before breakfast." Jorien replied factually, and Cas nodded in her usual giddy eagerness.

"Do I need to be scared?" Robin inquired with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile. She knew that look on their faces, and she knew that they were up to something. A second later, a small box very much like the one she had received last year was placed in her lap and Robin opened it with a curious smile. When her eyes fell onto the contents however, her brows furrowed, and she looked up at Cas and Jorien with a big question mark on her face.

"We're not doing anything you don't want to, of course… But you liked those onyx earrings so much when we went to Hogsmeade, so we decided to get them for you." Cas shrugged with an excited smile, and Jorien merely nodded in no less amusement.

"That is very sweet of you, but you realize that I don't actually have any holes in my ears but the ones nature demands, yes?"

"Yet. That is part of the present." Cas replied mischievously, and both girls smiled at Robin in a way that made her realize that they were absolutely serious in what they were planning to do. It humored her more than it probably should have.

"Alright." Robin said with an easy smile. "Thank you for the lovely present. If you take joy in stabbing holes into my skin, feel free to. I don't mind."

"Wait… really?!" Cas frowned incredulously. "I thought you were going to protest! I prepared an entire speech to convince you that it was for the best!"

"I told you she would be all for it." Jorien shrugged at her friend, with a humored smile similar to the one Robin wore herself. "And you didn't write a speech, you practiced saying 'please' in as many ways as possible."

"Don't tell her that!" Cas protested with a roll of her eyes, and Robin merely had to chuckle at the two of them. They were like an old married couple sometimes, and it was hilarious and adorable at once to observe. Cas turned to Robin once again. "Anyway, we asked McGonagall for a spell to pierce your ears that wouldn't blow your head off along the way, so you don't have to worry about a thing. It's all approved and safe for use."

"I'm not worried." Robin replied easily, and really she thought the idea was rather sweet. It was such a typical teenager thing to do… something of the kind she had never spent a second thinking about before now. But to Cas and Jorien it actually seemed to be of immense importance to do this themselves, and Robin felt touched that they included her in their spark of youthful rebellion. And she wouldn't mind getting her ears pierced after all. "So… You actually asked McGonagall for a spell?"

"Who did you expect us to ask?! What Professor Snape is for you, McGonagall is for Jorien. I'm just swimming on her wave." Cas explained, then motioned for Jorien to go ahead and do the actual work. A typical Cas move, giving the speech and leaving the work for someone else. "This is probably going to hurt, so you might want to grab something."

"Don't worry, it takes a lot to hurt me these days." Robin sighed and for once, she would just have to trust them; there wasn't much that could go wrong anyway. "But try to keep my head intact, alright?"

Ten minutes later, and luckily without any accidents, Robin had two neat holes in her ears and could at last make use of the gift she'd received. Two studs of black onyx, small but just as gorgeous as she remembered them to be from the two times they had looked at them through the shopwindow in Hogsmeade. She smiled when she looked at herself in the mirror, admiring the subtle new detail about her appearance. The deep black really was a sharp contrast to her ashen skin, but so was her dark hair anyway. The new piece of jewelry probably wouldn't be all too noticeable in comparison to that.

"You look absolutely gorgeous, birthday girl…" Cas declared dramatically, still lounging on Robin's bed even while Robin herself had gotten up. "Now we just need to get a little colour onto your face and you're ready to seize this day!"

Robin spun around to face them in an instant, glaring at the two girls in both horror and defense. There was a lot she would let them do to her, but that most definitely did not include turning her into a canary! "Cas no! Absolutely not!"

"Cas yes!"

"Jorien?" Robin pleaded with both her tone and her eyes while moving back over to her bed and to the girls. "I already let you make holes into my ears!"

"Sorry, but it's all part of our present." Jorien shrugged with a sympathetic half smile before she moved off the bed to get ready. "Just let it happen."

"What is your present if it includes piercing my ears and painting my face?!"

"We're making you pretty, dumbass! Like they do in the movies!" Cas groaned loudly and rolled off the bed as well to pad back towards her own. "You're bloody 17 now! And you still don't have any dates! We're trying to get you one."

"Not that again…" Robin sighed in return, hiding her head in her hands for a moment to regain some composure before she started getting dressed for the day of classes. "Don't you guys have anything better to do than meddling in my affairs?"

"No." Both Jorien and Cas replied at the same time, then giggled at their synchrony, and Robin finally had to realize that resistance was futile indeed. Sometimes living with thirteen-year-olds demanded a sacrifice; sometimes Robin just had to make concessions to their youth. And honestly, she couldn't deny them a thing, being as excited as they were about this now.

"Fine…" She sighed at last, mindlessly buttoning up her blouse with long practiced moments, then tugged it into her trousers. "You may paint my face if it means so much to you. But I'll get the bathroom first, now and all to myself. And I forbid you to use anything actually colourful."

"But colour is the best part! It's ALL colour!!!" Cas cried as she struggled into her tights. "Some charcoal would do wonders on your eyes!"

"Black isn't actually a colour but a value." Jorien corrected with a roll of her eyes. "So technically you can use all the black, white and grey you want."

"Precisely! Thank you, Jorien, your thought-out input is always very much appreciated." Robin smiled proudly at the girl, who in return grinned to herself upon the praise. "Now, do we have an agreement? I get the bathroom first and you will use no colours, but you may otherwise do with my hair and face as you please. Deal?"

"Deal!"

… … …

In the end, Robin had to make another compromise: in exchange for not getting any brown paste and powder onto her face, which Cas seemed to be very fond of unfortunately, she had to agree to let them use colours, dark colours, on her eyes. Thus Robin ended up sitting on her bed, sighing repeatedly, while Cas painted her face and Jorien braided her hair. Honestly, she still didn't know how or why exactly she (the older one!) had become their dress up doll, but under the pretext of 'making her look pretty for her birthday', Robin still found herself unable to deny them. Even if, on the inside, she very much felt like running.

When all three of them made their way towards the great hall for breakfast at last, Robin still felt mildly uncomfortable. The braid Jorien had forced her hair into was rather charming actually, and also very much useful to keep the wavy, bushy mess out of her face, but she wasn't so sure about the 'smokey' black, brown and green Cas had layered around her eyes. Robin felt more like a raccoon than herself… but in comparison to what some (few) of her classmates wore on a daily basis, or those women in the magazines Cas read instead of books, it still was subtle enough to tolerate for a day. Makeup may be fun for some other people, which was fine, but it most definitely wasn't for Robin and she had a rather strong interest in not repeating this masquerade. Oh well… she still would be racoon-Robin for a day now. Besides, it would break the girls' hearts if she didn't suffer through it with a smile on her face, so that's what she did as they hurried to breakfast.

"And where would we be coming from?" A taunting voice stopped all three of them just outside the great hall, and Robin had to smile while the other two looked rather panicked upon the unexpected appearance of their potions teacher. "Miss Miller, Miss Blakeley… Punctuality is a virtue, not an option. Breakfast started fifteen minutes ago. You are late."

"So are you, professor..." Robin replied with an innocent smile, which however turned into more of a smirk as soon as her eyes met his. "Isn't that a funny coincidence?"

Snape approached them with long strides and his usual public facade, and the closer he came, the more Cas and Jorien hid behind Robin. She still didn't understand how they could miss the humor in his face that even now was obvious as day! All they saw was the menacing scowl he wanted them to see. That they probably wanted to see as well; expectation and prejudice were the masters of deceit in one's own mind.

"Funny." He said to Robin in a particularly flat tone that made her bite her lip to keep from laughing, then he turned to look at Jorien and Cas instead. "You two would do well to be on time from now on, even if for a mere meal. I tolerate no slacking. Now find your seats before your classmates leave nothing but their empty plates for you." With that, he motioned for them to get going, clasping his hands behind his back with that indifferent look that made Robin smile even more.

"Robin…? Are you coming?" Jorien asked carefully while Cas straight out started walking off already, gaining as much distance to Snape as possible until she disappeared out of sight. Jorien still stood between Robin and the doors, looking at her insecurely.

"You should be fine without your precious Robin for five minutes, or is that too much to ask?" Snape drawled in feigned annoyance, and Robin gave him a look before turning to Jorien.

"I'll be there in five minutes, just save me a seat and some toast, will you?" She smiled at the girl as positively as possible, who only nodded with a weak smile in return before quickly following behind Cas, out of sight.

"Did you have to scold them for something so minor?" Robin finally asked as she turned back to Snape with a small frown. "They were only late because of me, or rather because of what they did for me. Today, at least…" Really, they were usually late for all meals. No matter what day it was, and no matter if they were with Robin or without her.

"Had they been any later, all they would have found left is scrapings. It might have slipped your notice, but their classmates are more animals than civilised beings when it comes to meals." He pointed out calmly, and Robin had to sigh. He was right. "Unless you wish to show them how to use the kitchens or leave them to fend for themselves in the future, I would prefer to teach them punctuality."

"Yeah, alright, I see your point." She said with another sigh. "Nevermind. I usually prefer being early anyway."

"I am aware." He replied with a not-smirk, upon which Robin had to smile again as well. "Is that colour in your face the reason for your mutual lateness?"

"Ah, well, yes." Robin chuckled awkwardly, and before she knew her fingers nervously brushed over the rough spot of skin on her neck again. "It is, uh… it's part of their birthday present to me, I guess. They insisted on it."

For a moment Snape observed her closely, with a curious frown that made Robin feel both nervous and tingly. He leaned a little closer for a second, then back again. "Something else about you is different than it was yesterday evening, but I cannot tell what it is."

"Well, uh, I also let them pierce my ears, because they really wanted to, so it's probably that." Robin shrugged with an almost apologetic frown. Did he observe everyone that closely? Probably.

His eyebrows rose in surprise, torn between incredulity, humor and irritation. "Why would you let them do all that to you? I was under the impression that people did nice things for others on their birthdays…"

"They gave me earrings, so they also had to make sure I could wear them. And as for the colour on my face… you better don't ask what made them do that to me." She shrugged again, deeming the way he said 'nice' highly amusing. "I let them do it because it quite obviously made them happy."

"It is your birthday. People are supposed to ensure you are happy."

"Oh, I'm quite happy as it is." Robin replied with a small smirk, and a soaring heart once more. "I can manage looking like a raccoon for the day. Perhaps it'll scare Morgan off at least."

A quiet snort escaped him before he could make an effort to remain stoic, and even then he seemed to struggle not to smirk. "Raccoon certainly is not what I think of when I look at you, Robin. But you make me curious about their reason to obviously try for exactly that visual."

Now Robin had to snort as well, shaking her head to herself. Damn, she didn't want to tell him… but she also knew that she could deny him even less than the two girls. What was it about the people she cared about?! The only weak spot she knew of, and they all were entirely oblivious to it.

"If you have to know, they wanted to make me look pretty for the day." She sighed, but as soon as he even made an attempt to reply, she added, "Don't. Please. No scorn or mocking on my birthday. I know I look stupid, but I have to make concessions if I want to keep my sanity when living with them, and this was such an instance. I could have looked far worse."

"I was merely going to say that they obviously have a strange concept of beauty if they are blind enough to try to cover it up with paint." He said as if it wasn't enough to make Robin's entire body feel too hot all of a sudden. Actually, he didn't even seem to realize what exactly he had just said in the first place as he went on. "I do very well understand your need to make concessions, and your diplomacy is certainly appropriate. However you don't have to tolerate everything they do to you merely because I told you to watch over them."

"I know. That's not why I do it, not at all." She sighed, regaining control over her heartbeat by simply ignoring what he hadn't even said on purpose. "They care about me, they really do, and they only want the best for me in their own kind of way. A thirteen-year-old way, which unfortunately entails trying to draw more positive attention to me."

He frowned at that, with a lingering hint of amusement. "They paint your eyes black to draw positive attention to you? How… curious."

"I know, right?" She huffed in both humor and dread. "I for my part like black better than anything else they could've put on my fave, but it's probably the wrong colour to make other people think 'pretty' and not 'scary'. I forbid them to use bright colours though, so perhaps it is my fault that I'll scare people off all day, which I do almost every day anyway, so-..."

"Robin." He quirked an eyebrow at her, and Robin took a deep breath to untangle the mess in her head that caused her to ramble.

"Yes. Sorry. Nevermind, just forget about it."

"Give me your hand." He ordered calmly an instant later, holding his own out to her with his palm facing up. Robin's heart skipped a beat, but she did as he said without question, placing her hand in his only to feel the familiar surge of electricity running up her arm and through her body.

To her surprise, he turned her hand around to rest in his with the inside facing up as well. Then, without a word, a small spark of light flickered to life inside her palm. It glowed softly in different colours that came and went so quickly it left the light white, an addition of all colours, and yet black at once in its subtraction. Robin couldn't have described it even if she'd wanted to, for her eyes and mind were too drawn to their hands to even try such a thing. The spark grew, not into a bigger light, but into a shape, a web of atoms that made up matter one by one. It grew, blossomed and rooted until at last it took on the unmistakable shape of a flower. A flower Robin had never seen before, one that was entirely black in its impossible existence, but yet consisted of all the colours in existence indeed. She couldn't take her eyes of it as it rested in her palm, all light gone but the impossible colours remained. His hand was still curled around hers, long fingers brushing against the delicate skin of her wrist beneath the cuff of her blouse… Robin didn't know which of the two fascinated, enchanted her more. Perhaps both did, in a different way.

"Now, would you expect someone to deem this flower scary?" He asked after a few seconds, dropping his hand from hers at last.

"No…" Robin replied quietly, holding the blossom in her palm like the greatest treasure. "It's beautiful, breathtaking even. I've never seen anything like it."

"Because it stems from your mind alone, which makes it entirely unique in its existence."

"But, how… I mean…" She didn't even know what to say, leave alone what to think, neither in a positive nor in a negative way. Why had he shown this beautiful piece of magic to her? Why hadn't she known that he could do something like this in the first place?! The overwhelming urge to be closer to him overcame her when she looked up at him, and it couldn't even be lessened by his perfect neutral facade. Gods, why did he always hide when she wanted to see him the most?! "Why?"

"It is nothing but a reminder that darkness does not scare everyone." He replied neutrally, neither bothering to feign indifference nor to let his honest expression shine through. A few seconds passed in silence, and they merely looked at each other as they did so often.

"Thank you." Robin finally said, giving him the most sincere smile that had graced her lips all day. "It's a lovely gift."

"It isn't a gift." He was quick to respond though, frowning first, then looking almost humored again. "But it might counteract the racoon visual nonetheless."

Robin chuckled, closing her eyes for a second to dwell in the happiness of the moment. The overwhelming bunch of emotions tied to the impossible flower in her hand. "Well, thank you either way. I appreciate your help with my facial issues."

Finally the not-smirk was back on his face, and if Robin wasn't mistaken, so was the humor in his eyes. "What kind of… person would I be if I didn't help you even with the most obscure problems?" Again he raised his eyebrows at her, and she smiled brightly enough to light up the entire hallway, until he spoke on. "That, among other things, is why I want you to be prepared at two o'clock this afternoon."

"Huh?" Robin's brows furrowed into a deep frown in an instant. "Prepared for what?"

"To play along." He smirked for real this time, quite obviously basking in her confusion. "You will see."

Then, without another word, Snape turned on his spot and disappeared down the hallway towards the dungeons before Robin could say another thing. Two seconds later, the doors to the great hall were opened by the first students already leaving breakfast, and they stormed the hallway with enough noise and chattering to break Robin free of her frozen state. Did Snape actually enjoy being that cryptic?! He probably did; insufferable idiot.

Robin sighed to herself, looking at the flower in her hand in careful consideration, then moved to tie it into her hair with a smile. Having this little piece of magic with her, his magic, would certainly make her day a lot better, even if it was prone to cause her constant tingles. Who cares… it was her birthday, she could allow herself to enjoy one single day of dwelling in her feelings. And besides, nobody had to know who had given her such an impossible flower; it wasn't a gift after all, just a point proven.

As Robin made her way into the great hall at last, hoping that at least some kind of food was left for her, she wondered what would be happening at two o'clock. She really couldn't wait to know. Then again, the anticipation and excitement of not knowing was also quite delightful. Two o'clock… that was a third into her defense against the dark arts class. And that meant whatever was going to happen, it could only be an improvement.

______________________________

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[script-nef]

Fluff alphabets | Hinata Shouyou

Others: Kageyama, Oikawa,  Tsukishima

Category: fluff

Affection: How affectionate is he? How does he show affection?

Hinata constantly wants to be holding you in any way available to him. He shows his love for you through countless kisses, hugs, texts, phone calls—just about anything.

He’s not afraid to proclaim his affection for you on live TV or in interviews but that subsequently means a lot of articles are written about you. Every single one of them is about how much of a doting and loving boyfriend is.

Baby: Does he want to start a family?

Yes.

Children between you and him? Of course he wants them! He’ll wish for them to be carbon copies of you because you’re the best person he knows and by his logic, that means his children will also be the best!

Thanks to his experience with Natsu, he’s skilled in taking care of babies and showers them in endless love. Would spend all of his spare time with you and the kids and every other parent will be envious of you.

Cuddles: Does he like cuddling? How often does he like hugging?

Hinata leaps at any chance to be around you.

He’ll use the most trivial excuse or reason to hug you: you look down, I’m hungry, your hair was flying around and you looked pretty, I wanted to check if your shampoo changed and whatnot.

You pointed out that since you’re going out with him, he doesn’t really need an excuse you cuddle with you. That made a lightbulb spark and now he just attacks you with surprise hugs whenever he wants.

Date: What is a typical date?

Exploring hidden corners of the city. This boy cannot sit still and requires physical activities or he’s going to go insane with the amount of energy that stockpiles.

He would scour them online or get some recommendations from friends when visiting their cities, or even his fans in the form of comments. It would mainly be cafés/restaurants or trinket shops so he can buy you loads of presents.

Experience: How much has he dated before? How does that reflect in this one?

He was an adult when he met you and he went out once or twice before, but it didn’t go for very long. This relationship with you is the longest yet!

He learnt bits and pieces from his previous relationships like how to treat your significant other and what not to do when dating, but it’s mostly useless since he’s somehow very intuitive in this area.

Fight: Do you fight often with him? How does it usually end?

Fights are incredibly rare, nearly none each year. The fact that you’re both so understanding and kind plays a factor. 

He also hates fighting with you because he believes every moment with the person he loves needs to be happy, even though that’s unrealistic.

He’s incredibly stubborn and will argue with you if he thinks he’s right. The fight can drag out for days but you eventually reconcile through talking and spend the rest of the day cuddling.

Gentle: How does he treat you?

Hinata isn’t gentle, despite popular beliefs. He’s driven by his emotions way too much and won’t realise when he’s putting physical pressure on you. Of course, he’ll back off once you say it.

Once he realises you’ve been saying that a lot, he’ll try to restrain himself but it doesn’t work. The second he sees you it’s just “!!!! [Name]!!!” and all control is chucked out the window.

Hand: Does he like holding your hand? How often?

When walking down the street or relaxing in the house, his hand is always glued onto yours. He uses it to tug and maneuver you around crowds and streets to arrive at your destination quickly.

Sometimes he draws little characters or writes with his thumb on your hand and asks what he wrote. It’s always things like simplified versions of your favourite anime characters or “I love you”

Impression: What was your first impression of him?

“Who is this absolute sunshine and how can I love him?”

Hinata tried to help you find your way after you were lost but he’s directionally challenged as well so… In conclusion, you spent around an hour walking aimlessly around the town. In that time, you somehow fell for him and asked for his phone number first. 

Even though it was obvious that he was as lost as you, he did his best to calm you down and led the way with unearned confidence which stole your heart.

Jealousy: Does he get jealous easily? What sets him off?

This boy cannot feel jealousy. At least in the romance area.

His heart is too wide and pure for any ugly emotions to rear their head in. If someone is constantly around you he’ll think “[Name] is so popular! I’m so happy everyone knows how cool they are!” and that’s it.

He’ll get kind of pouty if you say Kageyama is cool in front of him though. Hinata knows Kags is incomparable in volleyball skills so it’ll set his competitive fire even stronger.

Kiss: Is he good at kissing? When does he kiss you?

He likes innocent pecks all over your face whenever the mood strikes him. He doesn’t kiss deeper than that voluntarily. Sure, he’ll do it once you say it but not by himself.

He presses longer ones to your lips when he’s absolutely elated and cannot express his emotions in any other way. 

Love: Who said “I love you” first? And when does he say it?

Hinata said it first with such ease and energy. Like it was something obvious and common.

It was as he was leaving for his morning jog and you called after him to take a jacket. He kissed you on your forehead and yelled “I love you!” as he was slipping out of the door. It left you dumbstruck and frozen from your spot until you melted with a blush.

It was, of course, returned when he came back with tons of kisses and hugs.

Memory: What’s his favourite memory with you?

The moment he saw you after winning his first match with you watching from the crowd. His head snapped to you as soon as the last point for the match was won and you had the most dazzling smile on. 

It just filled him with such joy and happiness to see that you took the time out of your busy schedule to watch him. His heart basically just exploded when you hugged him afterwards and gushed about how amazing he was flying around.

You came to plenty of his matches after that, but nothing ever beat that rush of exhilaration he felt from the first time.

Nickname: Does he give you a nickname? Do you have one for him?

You have plenty for him: sunshine, love, tangerine, cutie, Shou, my light and more cheesy ones in private. He once asked you why you don’t call him those ones in public in front of all his friends and teammates while listing them off which basically killed you.

Once he realised that it was slightly embarrassing, he exclaimed that he loves hearing the nicknames in your voice and you should never be embarrassed. But he still understands if you don’t want to call him that.

His nicknames include shortening your name or adding “-chan” to the end of it.

Open: How open is he about his feelings?

So open. Hinata will shout how much he loves you from rooftops and mountain peaks if he feels like it. He never lets you doubt his love for you and constantly reassures you

The first time he mentioned you by “I’ll be back in time for dinner, [Name]-chan!” before running to the changing room made everyone double-take. After that, even when he received a scolding, he always says “I was able to perform better because [Name]-chan was cheering for me!” or something like that

PDA: Is he fine with PDA? How far can he go?

King of PDA right here, does not give a damn where you are. If you’re next to him and he wants to hug or kiss you? Then you’re going to receive them affections, there is no escape.

A private room of a restaurant, in the middle of a busy shopping centre, in a couple’s seat in the cinemas, nothing matters to him other than you.

Quirk: Habits or something he does which is unexpected?

Likes hiking in the afternoon. He started it first because the rough terrain would be a good workout for his leg muscles and help him in volleyball, but eventually does it whenever he’s feeling restless or bored. He’s super thankful that Japan is like, 70% mountains and tries to visit a new one every week.

Begs you to tag along because the scenery is wonderful and he wants to share it with you. Hinata wasn’t lying when he said the sunset was beautiful, the view is stunning.

Sometimes brings a picnic basket whenever you’re feeling a little down and feeds you a mountain worth of food while watching the sky change into red and orange.

Relax: What activities do you do with him to relax?

Playing video games together, often competing against each other.

Hinata received a variety of popular video games from Kenma a while back and is determined to clear all of them. He spends hours and hours of free time with you, glued on the sofa with you on his lap. It doesn’t really last though, since you wiggle and squirm so much during Mario Kart.

It usually starts in the afternoon until dinner, just hours and light competitiveness and fun. The loser usually has to clean up after the meal is finished.

Support: How supportive is he of your dreams? What do you do for him?

He’s like a serotonin boost that even being around him makes you feel more energised and motivated. Whenever you feel wiped out or exhausted, he’s right there to say positive things and encourage you to finish the assignment which is causing a massive migraine.

When you’re done, he’ll have some chocolate and warm tea to help you relax.

You pack him cute lunch boxes if you have time in the morning and put sticky notes of loving messages in it. His teammates get jealous when they see him giggling and texting you a response. 

But the best way to support him is to attend his matches and cheer for him.

Talk: What does he like talking about?

He loves talking to you about the experiences he had overseas. How different and free Brazil is, how lively and funny everyone is. Or the new players he met and trained with when he has practice matches against them.

He loves it when you talk about your childhood and all the things you went through before meeting him. There’s always something new to find out about you and he won’t stop until he knows every single detail about your life.

Umbrella: What’s his favourite weather/season?

Hinata’s favourite weather reflects his personality: a warm summer’s day. Not one of those unbearably hot and humid ones but one where the cool wind blows and the sun is pleasantly warm on your skin. 

He uses these days to go on a walk around the neighbourhood with you, mostly ending with a stroll around the park. Of course, he slathers on sunscreen on the both of you because safety first and he really needs to get rid of the remaining suncream from Brazil.

Vaunt: Does he like showing you off?

Hell yes, this boy flaunts you to everyone who’s willing to listen. Why wouldn’t he? You’re literally the best person he knows!

Not obnoxiously like “[Name]-chan is better than anyone else!” but more of a fanboy style. For instance: “I went to one of their presentations secretly and they were so eloquent and perfect, I can’t believe they’re dating me” like he isn’t one of the most sought after athletes in the entire country.

It’s to the point where his fans can recite facts about you and it leaves you confused.

“Shouyou, why does the public know all these things about me?” “Ummm…”

World: Where does he take you for vacation?

Definitely Brazil, specifically the same city he spent two years in. When he arrives, he’ll try to introduce you to all of his friends and acquaintances with the biggest smile.

He acts as a tour guide and shows you all the hidden favourite spots he found in his time there. Also teaches you some Portuguese and learns Spanish with you.

Of course, playing beach volleyball takes up a large amount of time over there. You joined in a couple of times even though your skills were considerably lacking than the other side.

It was mainly just for fun and experience (and ogling at Hinata ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

X-ray: What happens when you’re injured or sick?

This is painful—because of his memory of The Fever, he always tries to keep his body in tip-top shape. So your concerns of him overworking himself or falling ill get reduced to a minimum.

If you’re the one that’s sick, then he’s by your bed 24/7, ready to do anything you want or need. He calls up Iwaizumi and his teammates for advice and writes everything down, following it to a T.

Yearn: How much does he miss/pine for you when apart?

So damn much. This boy misses you the moment he steps into the plane and texts you until the flight attendant tells him to put the device away. It’s mostly heart emojis and selfies so he can look at them while flying.

It becomes a ritual that no matter what, no matter the difference in time, you have to call each other at least 3 times a day. It doesn’t have to be meal times but it has to be at least 3 times.

If not, he’ll be sad for the rest of the day and sulk the entire time he’s off the court. Eventually, his teammates all call you to please help this moody wing spiker.

ZZZ: Does he have sleeping habits?

Fidgets and moves around a lot in his sleep. Always wakes up in a different position and he’s so confused and disorientated. 

This kind of makes it hard for you since you sleep together so the solution was: buy a king-sized bed. It was like a whole new experience.

It works well until he once pushed you off. Your yelp woke him up and he apologised so much and nearly cried even though you were laughing and said it was okay.

[bytheangell]

You Can’t Keep Safe What Wants to Break - Chapter 3, Isabelle & Maryse

(AO3) (Prologue) (Chapter 1 - Magnus) (Chapter 2, Alec) (Chapter 3 - Isabelle and Maryse)

It’s a rare thing for the entirety of the Lightwood family to get together for dinner these days. Robert bounces back and forth between assisting the LA Institute in getting things back up and running after Jonathan’s attack and his usual business in Alicante, and Max primarily stays with him while continuing his training. Alec lives in Alicante despite his frequent trips back to New York to keep tabs on Izzy and Jace at the Institute. Maryse, for the most part, remains out of the Shadow World entirely, though she gets enough news from her children and Luke to stay in the loop.

Izzy knows something’s up the moment Jace tells her he needs to talk to everyone at the same time, but no amount of prodding will get him to tell her why. Even Alec is acting oddly closed off, and normally she can bat her eyelashes and use her little sister charms on him no problem! Not this time. Alec starts actively avoiding her for the three days between Jace saying they’re all getting together and when they’re actually all free to meet, going so far as to reschedule a planned trip to the Institute even though he swears it’s just a scheduling conflict and not because he’s avoiding her.

She knows him well enough to know he’s lying, and she knows Jace well enough to know that he’s keeping something from her.

“Jace, should I be worried,” Izzy asks him the day before the dinner. “You know how mom and dad get when they’re in the same building as each other, is it really a good idea to make them have an entire dinner together?”

“I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t important, Iz,” Jace promises, and she can tell from the look on his face that he means it. This is important. This is serious, whatever it is.

“So important you can’t just tell me now, while I’m here?” Izzy challenges, an eyebrow raised. She doesn’t like the feeling of being kept out of the loop, and she’s anxious that whatever he has to announce at this dinner is something she doesn’t want to get surprised by. “You told Alec,” she adds as if this should automatically mean she should be in the know, too. “And don’t say you didn’t, because he’s been acting weird all week.”

Izzy waits in tense anticipation while Jace considers. She debates pushing it, really laying into the ‘you trust Alec more than me’ angle, but she thinks twice about it and decides not to in the end.

“I need somewhere private. Your room’s closer,” he relents, nodding in the direction of her room down one of the side halls and starting off without waiting for her to respond.

Izzy smirks to herself as she follows quickly, the sound of her heels quickly catching up to the thud of Jace’s boots down the long hallways of the Institute’s residential wings.

Once they’re inside her room Izzy remains patiently quiet and still while Jace takes a few moments to pace back and forth, looking at her then looking away again, before he works himself up to speak.

“I’m leaving,” he says finally. “To be with Clary.”

Izzy’s immediate reaction is joy, because what else could it be to know that Jace and Clary might get their happy ending! She’s thrilled to know that he wants to be with her even if she can’t be with them, and--

--and she can’t be with them.

Izzy’s thoughts come scratching to a halt in her head, happiness quickly shifting to disbelief. Clary can’t be here at the Institute, and she can’t be part of the Shadow World, which means if Jace is going to be with her then he can’t, either.

“You can’t,” Izzy says. “You can’t leave. We’ll figure something out. Look at all the laws Alec is working to change. He can change those rules, too, I know he can.” She’s not particularly proud of the immediately desperate tone her words take on at the realization but there’s no helping it, because desperate is exactly how she feels. Desperate to convince Jace this is a mistake, desperate to convince him to stay.

“And maybe if he does, then I can come back. We both could. But until then I don’t want to lose the next, what? Year? Two? Ten? Who knows how long that would take. Especially living this life, where I’m more likely to die on a mission before the Council changes their ruling,” Jace points out.

If that was meant to be reassuring regarding his decision it has the opposite effect. Izzy shakes her head from side to side repeatedly, like maybe if she can say no enough times she can will it into being true. She can’t accept this. She won’t. She knows she’s being stubborn but she refuses to even humor the small part of her mind that gets it on some level, already forgetting that little bit of her that immediately wanted to be happy for Jace.

“No. This isn’t something you can just… just do! You're not the sort of person who abandons their family,” Izzy snaps.

“Iz, I’m not abandoning anyone.” Jace looks tired already but Izzy doesn’t care. She isn’t about to let this go.

“Yes, you are! That’s what this is. You’re walking away from us. From me. Three go in, three come out, remember? I need you. I need you here, not off with Clary in the mundane world. We all need you here. You’re our best fighter, and with Alec in Alicante, Dad and Max in LA, and Mom exiled you’re…” Izzy’s voice softens and it takes everything in her to push the last part of this sentence out. “You’re the only family I have left here.”

Her voice breaks against her will, soft and pleading in a way she so rarely allows herself to be. She knows the words hit home because Jace’s eyes shine for just a second, full of emotion in a way he so rarely allows himself to be. They connect in that moment, deeper than they probably have in months, maybe even years. She feels a spark of hope that maybe she tugged on his heartstrings just enough for him to reconsider.

That hope is dashed abruptly with his next words.

“I’m sorry, Iz,” he says. “I’m so sorry.”

It isn’t what she wants to hear. Jace reaches out to pull her into a hug, his arms outstretched, moving slowly enough that she has time to take a step back. She does. Jace’s arms fall to his sides and he looks dejected. That exhaustion seeps back into his features.

“No,” Izzy shakes her head, taking another step backward. “No, you don’t get to apologize like you don’t have a choice. Because you do. You’re just not choosing us.”

With those parting words, Izzy turns and storms out of her room, leaving Jace behind. She isn’t sure where she’s going, she just hopes he doesn’t follow before she says anything else in her shock and anger that she might regret later. She needs to cool off. She needs to think.

Izzy takes her whip and makes sure her stele is in her pocket, then heads out into the night. Thankfully, Jace doesn’t follow her. She only makes it a few blocks into the city before turning the corner into an alleyway and leaning back against the wall, sliding down to pull her knees up to her chest. She’s in no condition to be out trying to fight anything, no matter how badly she needs the distraction.

When she gets a fire message the next morning saying he hopes she’ll come to the family dinner to hear him out properly she decides that she should - not to hear him out, but to back up her parents when they inevitably make the same points she made.

Maybe together they can get him to change his mind.

---

Maryse would have to be a fool to not know that something is up, but she welcomes everyone into her home - Robert included, though a bit more grudgingly than the others - without immediate question. The last to arrive is Isabelle, and once she’s there Jace asks if everyone could get together in the living room.

“I’m not going to beat around the bush,” Jace begins.

Maryse watches Jace closely - it isn’t often that she sees him this nervous about anything, let alone something as seemingly simple as talking to his family. She’s witnessed him address groups of Shadowhunters, speak with Clave officials, even step in as a representative during several tense Downworlder negotiations. But here, looking at the room full of family, she can see the uncertainty he’s trying so desperately to hide.

“I submitted an official request to be deruned this morning,” Jace says. “I’m leaving to be with Clary. This isn’t up for debate, no one is going to talk me out of it. I’ve taken every single detail into consideration and it isn’t a decision I make lightly. I hope… I can only hope you don’t resent me too much for it. You took me in and cared for me when no one else would. You’re… you’re my family. All of you. And I may be forced to walk away from the Nephilim but I’m not leaving you, not if I can help it.”

He turns his gaze hopefully in her direction and Maryse takes a moment to blink away the tears in her eyes she can’t quite keep away. She can’t help the reaction, not when her thoughts drift to her own de-runing, a decision made for her that she never would’ve chosen for herself in a million years. She thinks of the pain, of the social stigma, of the immense sense of loss she felt - and still feels, if she’s being honest with herself.

It isn’t something she’d wish on her worst enemies, and here’s the boy she raised as her own son, choosing this difficult path. It’s not the better life a mother wishes for her child, certainly not the one she wants for him. It hurts to imagine him suffering the way she suffered.

“You didn’t abandon us when you were deruned. So I know I don’t have to, either. I can make this work just like you did,” Jace says.

“Oh, Jace,” Maryse sniffles slightly, keeping the majority of her composure. “I kept a lot from you kids when that happened to me. I know I seemed fine, but…”

Jace nods. “I know. I know it isn’t going to be easy.”

You don’t, Maryse thinks. You have no idea, you sweet, sweet boy. But she doesn’t get the chance to say it before Robert cuts in, scoffing.

“Our numbers are lower than ever and you’re walking away from your duty? You’re a Herondale, the last of your bloodline. You have a legacy to uphold, and you’re just going to throw that all away? And all for some girl who, quite honestly, has caused us all more trouble than she’s worth?! This doesn’t sound like the boy I took in and raised as my own.”

Maryse hears the slight intake of breath beside her from Alec, chancing a glance at her eldest to see his hands clenched tightly at his sides. He isn’t stepping in to say anything, not yet, but Maryse knows that’s a courtesy he’ll only allow for so long before he goes off on Robert.

“Don’t give me that look,” Robert says with an eye-roll at Maryse’s surprised expression. “Coddling him isn’t going to do any good right now - he needs tough love.” Robert turns back to Jace. “You need someone to tell you what a mistake this is before you can’t take it back.”

“Tell him he’ll regret it,” Robert says, shifting to face her now. “Tell him how much you miss being a Shadowhunter, Maryse.”

Maryse rubs her hands over her arms, thinking of the runes that used to be there.

Of course, she misses the Institute. She misses the action and excitement of the only life she’s ever known… but she’s happy here, too. She doesn’t know if she’s happier than she would be as a Shadowhunter, but she’s still happy.

And it’s that knowledge, that hope that Jace could still find happiness outside the life of the Nephilim, that makes this news a little easier for her to digest the longer she has to sit with it. Nephilim spend their entire lives training to fight, raising their children to be soldiers first and foremost, and emphasizing that duty and tradition are the most important things. More important than love, or happiness, or personal choice. She looks at where that got her, looks at where it nearly got Alec and knows that she can’t sit here and endorse blindly following this idea of bloodlines and destiny if it isn’t what Jace wants to do.

“It isn’t my decision to make,” Maryse says, trying to sound calm and neutral. “Nor is it yours, Robert.”

“What?!” Maryse expects the outburst over her words to come from Robert and is surprised to hear it from Isabelle instead. “First Alec, now you? Dad and I can’t be the only ones in this family who care that Jace is throwing his entire future away!”

It’s obvious that Isabelle expected Maryse to agree with Robert. She almost had, if she didn’t stop to question her instinctive reaction.

“When you’re the only one on dad’s side maybe it’s time to recalculate,” Alec mutters, just loud enough for Maryse and Isabelle to hear. Maryse watches Isabelle bristle at the words as she turns to her daughter.

“Do you think my future was thrown away?” Maryse asks her daughter. “That my life is meaningless now?” There’s no malice there, no accusation. She won’t even be mad if Izzy says that she does - after all, it’d be more of a reflection on Maryse and the rhetoric she bought into and fed to her children for most of their lives.

Izzy falters and doesn’t respond. Silence fills the room in the absence of her reply, with Robert now silently fuming to the side. To everyone’s surprise, it’s Max who breaks the silence. In the immediate aftermath of Jace’s announcement, she’d nearly forgotten he was there at all, sitting quietly in the corner until now.

“You’ll still come to visit, won’t you?” Max asks quietly.

“You might have to come to me,” Jace admits, crossing over to kneel down in front of Max, taking his hands and giving them a little squeeze. “But yeah. We’ll still see each other. And I can still help you with your studies, and training. Just… not in Idris. Or at the Institute.”

Max considers that, then nods. “Like I visit mom for dinner, and sometimes she helps me with my runes!” Jace smiles. “Yes. Just like that. This isn’t anything we haven’t adapted to before, which is why I’m not sure why some of us are acting like it’s the end of the world.“

Jace stands up again before turning to divert his attention away from Max again, giving Isabelle a particularly pointed look.

There’s a long silence before anyone speaks again, and it’s Izzy who finally breaks the silence. Her voice is soft and she pauses after opening her mouth, as if reconsidering saying anything at all, before continuing.

“Because it isn’t the same. It isn’t the same and you know it. Mom’s de-runing was a punishment. She didn’t want it, and she never would’ve chosen to go willingly. But you…”

‘You’re choosing to go’ hangs unspoken in the air between the family.

“Mom didn’t go anywhere, and neither will I. I promise.” Jace follows his words with a heavy sigh.

“I get it if you hate me for this. I guess I should be thankful any of you are willing to accept my decision, but I guess I let myself get my hopes up because I really thought I’d have more support. All this talk about family and duty, except for when it comes to supporting your own, right?” Jace sighs again. He looks so much older than his years should allow, with a weight on his shoulders no one should have to carry.

Alec walks over and grabs one of Jace’s hands, giving it a squeeze. It’s the first thing he’s done since Jace started talking and everyone else said their piece. Isabelle said Alec already supported Jace, which means they already had this conversation before tonight. What Maryse wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall for that talk. She never had a Parabatai so she can only imagine what they must be feeling.

“You got me,” Alec reassures him. “Naught but death, brother.”

The reference to their parabatai oath tugs at Maryse’s heartstrings. She’s glad that the two of them have each other, and relieved to see that no matter what may have transpired when Jace first approached Alec, Alec seems to be genuine about supporting him through this. It warms her to see that same unwavering trust and support they had from day one.

“This whole thing is ridiculous,” Robert huffs, grabbing Max by the wrist. “We can talk about this when you’re thinking clearly.”

No one stops Robert from leaving or Isabelle from following shortly after.

“Thanks anyway,” Jace tells Alec, giving him a clap on the back.

“That could’ve gone worse,” Alec points out, shooting a hesitant glance between Jace and Maryse that she pretends not to notice. Jace just gives a quick nod, a silent exchange that ends with Alec apologizing for not staying and excusing himself to go check on Isabelle.

Jace stays back after everyone leaves, and Maryse doesn’t push him to speak.

“I appreciate what you did back there,” Jace says. “I don’t know if you really believe I can do this, or if you were just saying all that to annoy Robert, but either way… thanks.”

“Of course you can do this,” Maryse tells him. “Ever since the first day you stepped through the doors of the Institute there hasn’t been a single thing you set your mind to that you didn’t accomplish.”

Now it’s her turn to hesitate, suddenly wishing the others were still around for a distraction or two before she dives into what’s on her mind.

“I have to tell you… when I got deruned it was awful. I don’t want to downplay it, Jace - it was traumatizing.” Her voice is quiet when she says it, a whispered secret she planned on covering up and taking to her grave before tonight. “I’m not telling you to scare you. I’m telling you because I did everything I could to pretend it wasn’t for the sake of you kids, but if I let you walk into it thinking you’d come out fine on the other end then I’d never forgive myself.”

Maryse shudders at the memory of it, at the knowledge of the nights she wakes up screaming over phantom pains from nightmares, or the times when her longing for that thrum of angelic power that comes with activating a rune drives her to tears or leaves her feeling like an alien in her own skin.

“I’ll tell you, if you want. I’ll be completely honest. You deserve that much because no amount of warning will really be enough, but it’s better than nothing. If you’re really, truly set on this,” she adds.

“I am. Maybe not tonight, but yeah, I might take you up on that.”

“They probably won’t let me be there when you do it,” Maryse says. “You know I would if I could.”

Jace nods. “I know. And thank you, for not siding with Robert. Even if you don’t agree with my decision, you don’t know how much it means that you let me do this.”

“I’m not letting you do anything, Jace. You’re an adult now, and your decisions are your own. I wouldn’t choose this life for you, but I can’t stop you from choosing it for yourself. And if anyone can handle the hardships that come with it, it’s you.” Maryse pauses to blink away a few stray tears. “You’ve always been headstrong, but you’re a good person, Jace. Nothing’s ever stopped you from getting exactly what you wanted in the past, and this isn’t going to be any different.”

As she talks she walks over to wrap her arms around Jace, holding him tight and speaking the last few words into the side of his neck.

“I believe in you.”

She understands Isabelle and Robert’s reactions, but she also understands that Jace is going to do this with or without their support. What Jace needs is for someone to believe in him, and if nothing else, she can give him that much.

[toutallyahoe]

Addicted

Requested By: --

Pairing/s: Sherlock Holmes x [Name] [Last name]

A/N: This week was an absolute hell and I bloody want to die right now.

─────────────────

He was addicted. Bloody addicted to that man. The man who was like a well-made drug just for him to have. It was exhilarating.

Sherlock Holmes was no doubt a genius. People can never deny that despite they wanted too, but can't. Deep in their mind, there was that one tiny voice that says the consulting detective to be, in fact, a genius. Sherlock can solve a case by a snap of his finger, no failures, no cases getting stamped "cold". It was something the man took pride and joy over.

Now, Sherlock may be a genius but he lacks the humanity. The understanding of what people have... emotions. The curly haired man was not empathetic, he was cold, cruel and absolutely and arsehole. He doesn't get the situation right (most of the time) when it is connected to emotions. Where he shows actually interest (by by being elevated) to have a bloody murder hapoen while the other surrounding him look at him in absolute disgust or horror. He, Sherlock, was a man of many things but he wasn't a emotional or even a empathetic person.

So, it was no wonder when he had found someone to his odd and calculative mind to be so... interesting... he loved that feeling of excitement like he gets in his cases when he was near to that person. How his mind tries to calculate ways to solve this person's life by so little or even none he can find on that day. It was so bizarre to find someone he couldn't deduced. It was interesting. It was intoxicating. It was addicting.

Sherlock relished the time he spent with that person in the park. He make use to gather information and play that guessing game that they had suggested for him to help figure them out. It was annoying at first as he was frustrated on why-- how can this person not be deduced by him? Evrywhere he looked he can deduced everything but the moment he layed his eyes back to them, it's like he couldn't do such things.

Sherlock wanted to know more, he was curious and really was interested on how can that be? The guessing game was... alright.

The consulting detective may not want to admit it but it was entertaining. It was so entertaining that he always makes time to go to the park, on exactly two in the afternoon where the sun was not that hot, sit on that very same bench he and they always sat and start a small talk, well, they start a small talk for about five minutes then Sherlock would try to guess something about them.

It was... what was that term he had described it again?

Time wasting, stupid and... fun.

It was fun and the detective enjoyed it immensely. It was addicting to that small game, that person-- that man...

It was addicted. He was addicting. And he was addicted.

The door creaked as the blond had opened it to carry the plastic bags inside the flat, letting out a huff from the pain of carrying heavy bags from the stairs. Did he call for help from his flatmate that he knew all to well was there inside their flat, laying in the living room couch? Absolutely. Did his flatmate answered his calls and came to help? Absolutely... not.

John was tired, really tired as he had a small fight with the self-checked machines... again. The doctor really do have suck bad luck with those machines, it was still a wonder why he goes to check and pay for his groceries there though. Right, it was because most of the employees can either miss scanning an item or scan twice, third if you are unlucky, which had happened to the blond... three times. And let's not forget that they take too long to baggage the ite--

"Sherlock, why are you putting on a coat?" Confused, John had said as he raised a brow at his flatmate who was in the middle of putting on his coat, looking rather... happy? No, it must be the tiredness seeing but the curly haired man seemed to be humming a small and up beat tune underneath his breathe. The blond was confused. Did Sherlock had gotten a case from Lestrade? Probably. And if that was the case, he better hurry to put the plastic bags on the kitchen counter before heading out with the detective. With a groan, John had gone to the kitchen and put the bags on the table, pushing his flatmate's jars of... whatever that thin-- was that an eye? "Stop leaving your experiments on the kitchen table!" The blond had exasperatedly shouted to the curly haired who merely ignored his shout and was too busy looking at his phone (for once not John's) while the blond had pushed away the jars filled with questionable things inside to make space for the plastic bags he was carrying.

As the doctor finished putting the bags and rubbing his sore arms from carrying such heavy bags, he immediately went to the livingroom to momentarily shake his head and rubbed his eyes. The blond blinked for a couple of times as he look back to his flatmate. He swore he saw Sherlock had a smile on his face. Did... was it not real? Jove, maybe he was too tired and needed rest as soon as possible.

Finally getting out of his mini frozen state as he saw the curly haired male slid his phone on his pockets and immediately went to the door to take his blue scarf off the coat hanger and began tying them, giving no mind to his blond flatmate coming closer to him. "So, what is the case Greg had assigned?" John asked as he stopped beside the detective who paused at his question and briefly looking him in the eye with a blank look.

"You mean Geoff?" Sherlock had said, getting the D.I.'s name wrong which made the doctor internally sigh (and the said D.I. sneezing in his office, "Wonder who is talking about me."), he continued, "he didn't," the cutly haired bluntly said as he finished tying his scarf. "I'll be going. If George--" "-- he's name is Greg," John cut off and corrected him. Rolling his eyes, Sherlock continued. "-- that's what I had said," he said which was John's turn to roll his eyes. Honestly, his flatemate and friend is such a stubborn prick sometimes... most times.

But then it came to the doctor, if Sherlock hadn't gotten a case from Greg, why was he so giddy about? The doctor always saw how the detective only express annoyance, boredom, interest, and excitement, the two latter's being getting and solving a case. So, what?

"Whe--" John was about to ask but was cut off by Sherlock abruptly turning to look at him with that blank face of his and then nodded. Raising his hand to look at the time on his wrist watch, the detective's lips twitced upward for a bit. "I'll be off now," came the curly haired man's reply as he turn to the door, opened it and then went out. Not bothering to say good bye to his flatmate who stood there of surprise as he closed the door.

As Sherlock descends the stairs, he shouted his farewell to the old landlord of his and then went out to hail a cab. John stood in frozen for a minute or two after Sherlock left. The doctor blinked a couple of times until his brain realized what his flatmate had done. "Did that bloody git just closed the door to my face?"

Tap

Tap

Tap

Tapping his index to his ring finger on his lap, the curly haired male sat on the back seat of the cab he had hailed as he patiently wait.

Tap

Tap

Tap

He continued to tap his fingers on his lap. It was a mannerism he seemed to develope to pass the time other than just going to his "mind palace" to organize his thoughts. It was quite odd, the curly haired fully knew he never did this mannerism before but his early memory of doing so when he had met that man again for the second time. He seemed to tapping rhythmically on his lap with his fingers as he waited for him to come and tell the things he had done on his day. Boring, but the detective was interested.

No matter what the mundane things the man had done, it always seemed to spark some interest in him which was something he honestly quite enjoyed. Tapping his fingers was something he had done to pass the time as he waited to met that man again.

Tap

Tap

Tap

The cab had stopped to the all familiar park he regularly visited, not even waiting for the driver's announcement that they had reached their destination, Sherlock had already opened his door to get out and closing it. The old cab driver leaned over to the other seat beside him where he brought down the window as Sherlock took out the correct amount of pound and handed it to the out stretched hand of the driver as he then turn to walk to the entrance if the park.

Sherlock continued to walk as he saw the bench he always sat, facing the lake and not to far from the field of green grass where some children and pets of people run and play. The curly haired man had just passed by a sweaty jogging male which he honestly rolled his eyes on. It was two in the bloody afternoon, it was stupid. 'Just like Mycroft.' He had thought as he remembered his older sibling use to exercise and jog to get his fatass skinny.

It was absolutely hell for the younger Holmes when the older exercise because of the smell of sweat lingers in the air and it was just an abomination. Sherlock still felt pity for his older brother though, he remembered how Mycroft was so desperate to be more skinnier because of the sneers and taunts of the others around the older Holmes. It was absolutely revolting how other humans works, so stupid and ignorant. 'But not him thought,' Sherlock's mind had abruptly thought which surprised the man but shake his head as he sat at the bench and looked at the lake where he saw a small family of ducks swimming by with some of the pigeons swooped down and peck the gravel ground to get the bird seeds that old lady was throwing. A pair of two females, a couple is what he deduced when the detective saw how close and sweet the two are. Not to mention from the holding hands and how the other one stopped and placed a peck on the other's foregead while the other giggled on the bridge that was connecting the side he was on to the other. Letting out a breathe, the curly haired man had raised his hand to how look at the watch on his wrist. 2:04, it read.

'He's late.' Came's Sherlock thought as he placed his hand back beside him. It was always kinda like this, he was punctual while that man is late. It was irritating but the man, whenever he gets here was just so... so stupid on apologising that he always forgives him, begrudgingly.

A minute or two had passed until Sherlock looked at the brudge again to see the two girls still there, pointing and giggling to each other on the ducklings playing in the lake when he swe the familar turf of [Hair color] hair passing the two females. The curly haired man's lips twitched upward as he saw the man jogged hurriedly, pausing on the brudge as he he placed his hands on his knees and was panting heavily. He was obviously tired from the running but after a few more breathes he straightened back up and turned to where Sherlock sat.

It took everything in the detective's energy to not smile and instead have a stern look plastered in his face when he saw the [Hair color] haired man had jogged towards him and collapsed beside where he sat as he panted heavily. Trying to gasp for air as he then turned to the detective and gave a tired smile.

"Sorry about that, Sherlock. I am a bit late for our meeting, yes?" The [Hair color] haired man had awkwardly said as the man beside him rolled his eyes. Still, amusement gleam on the other's eyes as he answered, "Obviously," with a sarcastic tone that made the [Hair color] haired man chuckle a bit. "Sorry again, there was a bit of a slight mess in the kitchen and I had to finish some last minute a batch of cupcakes--" the man continued on and on about his day which Sherlock had listened. It was boring, that can be said but Sherlock didn't mind. It was not a murder case, it was not a human experiment, it was not anything bloody interesting other than a man talking about his job and baking. But the detective still listened, he enjoyed hearing the other's voice talk comically about his day, painting a picture on what had happened which in some other cases, the curly haired didn't give a single damn but with him... he cares.

He was addicted to his voice.

"--and then Jeffrey decided to add too much mix off batter in the damn thing and when it was put in the oven-- poof!--" the other had said as he had made an explosion by his hand to showcase what had happened to the curly haired, "-- the bloody thing exploded!" He finished with a grin as Sherlock had his lips twitch upward but this time, he did smile.

"Jeffords seems to be an idiot," Sherlock commented which he had gotten the name wrong but the [Hair color] haired merely hummed in agreement. "Absolutely, but he is a nice young man," the other had said as he let out a sigh and turn to look at the lake with a content smile on his lips. Sherlock look at him for a few seconds until he turn to look at the lake like the other did aswell.

Silence had wrapped around the two as it was not awkward nor comforting. It was in the middle that it was calming yet also uncomfortable as the two had things to say but decided not too.

Tap

Tap

Tap

He began to tap his fingers on his lap again as the curly haired momentarily looked at his watch to see the time, 2:13, it says. Narrowing his eyes, Sherlock let out a false cough which made the other turn to him. "Since you are finished," the curly haired started as he turn to look at the [Hair color] haired. "I would like for the... game to start, [Name]," the said man lips formed into a smile as he nodded, his eyes gleam in amusement. "Absolutely, Sherlock."

At that being said, Sherlock looked at the other in concentration. Looking from the hair to the shoes. Looking at every single detail but only small thing only pop up onto the curly haired man's mind. Grunting as he focused, [Name] merely smiled at the other's irritation on not getting something out of him. It was actually quite amusing. Sherlock Holmes, Wiliam Sherlock Scott Holmes was left stumped by him and had the latter wanting to met him to play this guessing game of his. Curiosity was something he quite enjoy to pit down on people. He liked to watch others be confused at times but he still was a sweet man. He just enjoys other's puzzlement, especially the self-proclaimed sociopath genuis sitting beside him right now trying to deduce him.

It was fun to play guessing what woth the curly haired man where the latter finally stopped thinking and was looking at him with a triumphant smirk which made him rose a brow. "Did you find something a out me?" [Name] had asked as the other male merely continue to smirk at him. "[Name], love," Sherlock had started as he saw the amusement in the other's eyes. Ah, he loved looking at those [Eye color] eyes but right now, he won this round of the game today. "I found something interesting, I may have won the game today," he said.

"And what's that?" [Name] had hummed as his calm and collected front immediately broken when the curly haired man had scooted closer towards him. "Um... Sherlock?" The [Hair color] haired color softly said, embarrassed he was. Sherlock was a bit close to his liking but the detective merely stayed beside him. "Your voice cracked a bit, recahed a higher octave which showed you ate embarrassed right now," the curly haired had deduced as his smirk grown larger. "Are you embarrassed that I am close to you, [Name]?" He asked.

"I-I... erm... uhh," [Name] awkwardly stuttered as the curly haired had scooted closer which made him back a bit. "I... um..." Honestly, he was like a fish out of the water with him opening then closing his mouth with no works other than incoherent things spout out his mouth. It was amusing for the curly haired who leaned more.

"Your pupils dilated, your pulse--" taling the other's hand and placed a finger on where the [Hair color] haired man's pulse can be felt, the smirk on the detective's lips turned into a smile. "-- elevated," Sherlock finished. [Name] immediately took his hand away from the other as he looked away.

"I may not be well with emotions but, love..." Sherlock let out a breathe as he looked at the other, he continued. "That I can assure, [Name], I understand," he said.

"I... and..." [Name] had found hus voice but he refused to look at the man besude him. Bloody hell this was bad but he wants to know why would Sherlock assume him to be in... to be in love? "And how can you assure that I'm... in love?" He asked which Sherlock merely rolled his eyes and looked at the lake. "Simple, really," the curly haired had said. "Even a toddler can deduced it," he had said which made [Name] snort. This man...

"The dilation of your pupils and the quickened of your heartbeat if a common signs," Sherlock stated. "But the most obvious signs of all is when you thought I wasn't looking," this made [Name] confused. "What?" He softly asked as he looked at Sherlock for an answer which made the curly haired turn to look at him.

"You look... in love... that bloody smile on your face as yours eyes soften, gleaming with that same softness and adoration. It was practically screaming, "I'm in love" very loudly," he had said. [Name] looked away in embarrassment again. Well, fuck.

Silence came the two which this time, it was awkward. Well, for the [Hair color] haired man that is. Will this end their odd friendship? Absolut-- his thought was cut off by Sherlock asking, "Have I gotten it right?" The detective asked. "Well, obviously I am correct but are you going to say it?" He said which amde [Name] let out a tired sigh.

"Yes," he softly said. That's it, it's over. His small odd friendship with this curly haired man is finished. It was fun while it laste--

"Why do you look so glum?" Sherlock had asked as he rolled his eyes at the other's dramatic behavior. Big whoop, he found out [Name] like him, why was this idiot being so dramatic about it? "Oi, are you listening to me?" No answer.

Sighing, the detective had one hand grabbed the other on the shoulder and the other on the face as he made the [Hair color] haired turn to him. "You are overreacting just because I found out you fancy me," Sherlock had said which made [Name] frown. Softly taking the other's hand on his cheek, he shake his head. "You don't understand it do you, Sherlock?" He had said.

"It made things awk--" before he can say anything more, soft lips pressed on his own as his eyes widen. His mind went blank.

As for Sherlock, the other tasted sweet. The taste of vanilla a d small hint of caramel from probably the bake goods he had test tasted earlier was the cause. Even though it was sweet, it was addicted. His lips were addicting.

Parting himself to the other, he let out a huff of breathe as he look at the [Hair color] haired male who was frozen.

"W... what?" Came [Name]'s soft and confused words. Rolling his eyes, Sherlock leaned once more and place a quick peck on the other's lips. "If you haven't noticed, I fancy you too," he bluntly said.

"I... I-I," [Name] finally processed what had happened and his brain went back to blank again. Sherlock had kissed him. Sherlock fancied him too. Sherlock Holmes kissed him. Touching his lips, he was flushed. My Jove, Sherlock's lips were soft and he tasted like chamomile tea...

As the [Hair color] haired lost in his thoughts of how the other tasted or the fact that the other felt the same way too, Sherlock had leaned closer to him. "You need to lessen the sugar on that batch of cupcakes of yours, too sweet."

"W-what?" Confused, [Name] asked.

Sherlock merely rolled his eyes as he stated again. "Your cupcake was too sweet, lessen the sugar on it before you get diabetes on having to taste test everything of those sweet inducement cavities," his words made [Name] nodded. "R-right," came [Name]'s awkward reply as they then kept quiet. The air was still awkward but Sherlock didn't mind.

Were they a couple now? Absolutely. That's what the curly haired had thought as they have stated their feelings are mutual and that they fancied each other.

Is [Name] an awkward man he fell? Absolutely. He was addicted to the man who's hand hesitantly reached out for his and intertwined them together. Softly squeezing his hand in a comforting manner as the detective let a content hum.

[Name] was always like a drug. Sweet inducent drug that always .ade him want more. He was absolutely addicted. Addicted to him.

"Does this mean we are a couple now?" Sherlock asked as the [Hair color] haired male turn to look at him then back at the lake. "I-I mean... if you want too," he softly said as he squeezed Sherlock's hand again.

"I want too," he smiled as he heard those words.

"Then, we are a couple," he confirmed as he brought Sherlock's hand towards his lips and place asoft peck of them making the detective turn to look at him. Lips twitching upward until a small smile formed on the other's lips.

[Name] was drug. A was drug that Sherlock Holmes was addicted too.

And he loved it.

[maddie-grove]

The Top Twenty Books I Read in 2019

My main takeaways from the past year’s reading:

Sometimes you think something is happening because of magic, but then it turns out to have a non-magical explanation so weird that you find yourself saying, “You know what? I wish faeries or God were responsible for this. I’d honestly feel less disturbed.”

Stop bathing and changing your clothes and shaving for three years, three months, and three days. You’ll find out who your real friends are. I promise you that.

I want more books about bisexual ladies!!! Give them to me!!!

Anyway...

20. The Prodigal Duke by Theresa Romain (2017)

Childhood sweethearts Poppy Hayworth and Leo Billingsley were separated when his older brother, a duke, sent him away to make his fortune. Years later, the duke is dead, a financially successful Leo has come back to England to take his place, and Poppy has become a rope dancer at Vauxhall Gardens after a life-shattering event. New sparks are flying between them, but is love possible when so much else has changed? Leo and Poppy are believable and charming as old friends, Romain makes great use of obscure historical details from the oft-depicted Regency period, and I loved Leo’s difficult but caring elderly uncle.

19. Simple Jess by Pamela Morsi (1996)

Althea Winsloe, a young widow in 1900s Arkansas, has no interest in remarrying, but almost everyone in her small Ozarks community is pressuring her to remarry, and she still needs someone to help farm her land. Enter Jesse Best, a strong young man with cognitive disabilities who’s happy to take on the work. As he makes improvements to her farm and bonds with her three-year-old son, Althea gets to know him better and starts to see him in a new light. This earthy romance could’ve been a disaster, but instead it illustrates how people with disabilities are often...uh...simplified and de-sexualized in a way that denies them autonomy. Morsi has a similarly nuanced take on Althea and Jesse’s community, which is claustrophobic and supportive all at once.

18. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (2018)

Outspoken and insecure, bisexual high school senior Leah Burke is having a tough year. Her friend group is in turmoil, her single mom is seriously dating someone, and she’s caught between a sweet boy she’s not sure about and a pretty, perfect straight girl who couldn’t possibly be into her...right??? The sequel to the very cute Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, Leah on the Offbeat pulls a The Godfather: Part II with its messy protagonist, sweetly surprising romance, and masterful comic set piece involving the Atlanta American Girl Doll restaurant.

17. Copper Sun by Sharon M. Draper (2006)

Kidnapped from her home in eighteenth-century Ghana, fifteen-year-old Amari is sold into slavery and winds up on a South Carolina plantation, where she faces terrible cruelty but finds friends in an enslaved cook, her little son, and eventually a sulky white indentured servant around her age. When their master escalates his already-atrocious behavior, the three young people flee south to the Spanish Fort Mose in search of freedom. Draper’s complicated characters, vivid descriptions, and deft handling of heavy subjects makes for top-notch historical YA fiction.

16. A Prince on Paper by Alyssa Cole (2019)

After her controlling politician father was jailed for poisoning a bunch of people in their small, prosperous African country, Nya Jerami gained unprecedented freedom but also became the subject of vicious gossip. Johan von Braustein, the hard-partying stepson of a European monarch, wants to help her, partly because he sympathizes and partly because he has a crush, but she thinks he’s too frivolous and horny (if wildly attractive). After an embarrassing misunderstanding compels them to enter a fake engagement, though, she begins to wonder if there’s more to him. I’m not a huge fan of contemporary romance, but this novel has the perfect combination of heartfelt emotion, delicious melodrama, and adorable fluff. 

15. One Perfect Rose by Mary Jo Putney (1997)

Stephen, the Duke of Ashburton, has always done the proper and responsible thing, but that all changes when he learns that he’s terminally ill. Wandering the countryside in the guise of an ordinary gentleman, he ends up joining an acting troupe and falling in love with Rosalind, the sensible adopted daughter of the two lead actors. Like another Regency romance on this list, this novel celebrates love in many forms: there’s the love story between Stephen and Rosalind, yes, but there’s also Rosalind’s loving relationship with her adopted family, the new bonds she forms with her long-lost blood relatives, the way her two families embrace the increasingly frightened Stephen, and the healing rifts between Stephen and his well-meaning but distant siblings. Stephen’s reconciliation with his mortality is also moving.

14. My One and Only Duke by Grace Burrowes (2018)

Facing a death sentence in Newgate, footman-turned-prosperous banker Quinton Wentworth decides to do one last good thing: marry Jane McGowan, a poor pregnant widow, so she and the baby will be financially set. Then he receives a pardon and a dukedom at the literal last minute, meaning that he and Jane have a more permanent arrangement than either intended. I fell in love with the kind-but-difficult protagonists almost at once, and with Burrowes’s gorgeous prose even faster. 

13. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell (2013)

It’s 1986, and comics-loving, post-punk-listening, half-Korean Park and bright, weird, constantly bullied Eleanor are just trying to get through high school in their rough Omaha neighborhood. He’s only grudgingly willing to let her share his bus seat at first, but this barely civil acquaintance slowly thaws into friendship and blossoms into love. Far from being the whimsical eighties-nostalgia-fest I expected, this is a bittersweet love story about two isolated young people who find love, belonging, and a chance for self-expression with each other in an often-hostile environment (a small miracle pre-Internet).

12. Shrill by Lindy West (2016)

In this memoir, Lindy West talks about the difficulties of being a fat woman, the thankless task of being vocally less-than-enthused about rape jokes, the joys of moving past self-doubt, and the very real possibility that Little John from Disney’s Robin Hood was played by “bear actor” Baloo, among other subjects. I was having a hard time during my last semester of law school this past spring, and this book’s giddy humor and inspiring messages really helped me in my hour of need.

11. Seduction: Sex, Lies, and Stardom in Howard Hughes's Hollywood by Karina Longworth (2018)

In 1925, very young businessman Howard Hughes breezed into Hollywood with nothing but tons of family wealth, a soon-to-be-divorced wife, and a simple dream: make movies about fast planes and big bosoms. He got increasingly weird and reactionary over the next thirty years, then retired from public life. More a history of 1920s-1950s Hollywood than a biography, this book has the same sharp writing and in-depth film analysis that makes me love Longworth’s podcast You Must Remember This.

10. The Beguiled by Thomas Cullinan (1966)

In Civil-War-era Virginia, iron-willed Martha Farnsworth and her nervous younger sister try to run their nearly empty girls’ boarding school within earshot of a battlefield. When one girl finds Union soldier John McBurney injured in the woods, she brings him back to the house, where he exploits every conflict and secret among the eight girls and women (five students, two sisters, and one enslaved cook). Charming and manipulative, he nevertheless finds himself in over his head. Cullinan makes great use of the eight POVs and the deliciously claustrophobic setting; it’s fascinating to watch the power dynamics and allegiances shift from scene to scene.

9. A Gentleman Never Keeps Score by Cat Sebastian (2018)

Reserved tavern keeper Sam Fox wants to help out his brother’s sweetheart by finding and destroying a nude portrait she once sat for; disgraced gentleman Hartley Sedgwick isn’t sure what he wants after having his life ruined twice over, but he happened to inherit his house from the man who commissioned the painting...plus he’s not exactly reluctant to assist kind, handsome Sam in his quest. I wrote about this heart-melting romance two times last year; suffice it to say that it’s not only one of the best Regencies I’ve ever read, but also possibly the best romance I’ve ever read about the creation of a found family.

8. Frog Music by Emma Donoghue (2014)

Blanche Beunon, a French-born burlesque dancer in 1876 San Francisco, has a lot going on: her mooching boyfriend has turned on her, her sick baby is missing, and her cross-dressing, frog-hunting friend Jenny Bonnet was just shot dead right next to her. In the middle of a heat wave, a smallpox epidemic, and a little bit of mob violence, she must locate her son and solve Jenny’s murder. This is a glorious work of historical fiction; you can see, hear, smell, and feel the chaotic world of 1870s San Francisco, plus Blanche’s character arc is amazing.

7. The Patrick Melrose novels (Never Mind, Bad News, Some Hope, Mother’s Milk, and At Last) by Edward St. Aubyn (1992, 1992, 1994, 2005, and 2012, respectively)

Born to an embittered English aristocrat and an idealistic American heiress, Patrick Melrose lives through his father’s sadistic abuse and his mother’s willful blindness (Never Mind),  does a truly staggering amount of drugs in early adulthood (Bad News), and makes a good-faith effort at leading a normal life (Some Hope). Years later, the life he’s built with his wife and two sons is threatened by his alcoholism and reemerging resentment of his mother (Mother’s Milk), but there may be a chance to salvage something (At Last). Despite the suffering and cruelty on display, these novels were the farthest thing from a dismaying experience, thanks to the sharp characterization, grim humor, and great sense of setting. Also, I love little Robert Melrose, an anxious eldest child after my own heart. 

6. The Perilous Gard by Elizabeth Marie Pope (1974)

In 1550s England, no-nonsense Kate Sutton is exiled to the Perilous Gard, a remote castle occupied by suspicious characters, including the lord’s guilt-ridden younger brother Christopher. Troubled by the holes she sees in the story of the tragedy that haunts him, she does some problem-solving and ends up in a world of weird shit. Cleverly plotted, deliciously spooky, and featuring an all-time-great heroine, this book was an absolute treat. The beautiful Richard Cuffari illustrations in my edition didn’t hurt, either.

5. An Unconditional Freedom by Alyssa Cole (2019)

Daniel Cumberland, a free black man from New England traumatized from being sold into slavery, and Janeta Sanchez, a mixed-race Cuban-Floridian lady from a white Confederate family, have been sent on a mission to the Deep South by the Loyal League, a pro-Union spy organization. Initially hostile to everyone (but particularly to somewhat naive Janeta), Daniel warms to his colleague, but will her secrets, his shattered faith in justice, and the various dangers they face prevent them from falling in love? Nah. Alyssa Cole’s historical romances deliver both on the history and the romance, and this is one of her strongest entries.

4. The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite (2019)

Heartbroken by the death of her father and the marriage of her ex-girlfriend, Lucy Muchelney decides she needs a change of scenery and takes a live-in position translating a French astronomy text for Catherine St. Day, the recently widowed Countess of Moth. Catherine, used to putting her interests on hold for an uncaring spouse, is intrigued by this awkward, independent lady. I’ve read f/f romances before, but this sparkling Regency was the first to really blow me away with its fun banter, neat historical details, and perfect sexual tension.

3. The Wager by Donna Jo Napoli (2010)

After losing his entire fortune to a tidal wave, Sicilian nineteen-year-old Don Giovanni de la Fortuna sinks into poverty and near-starvation. Then Devil makes him an offer: all the money he wants for as long as he lives if he doesn’t bathe, cut his hair, shave, or change his clothes for three years, three months, and three days. This fairy-tale retelling is an extraordinarily moving fable about someone who learns to acknowledge his own suffering, recognize it in others, and extend compassion to all. 

2. Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell (2013)

In this collection, Russell weaves strange tales of silkworm-women hybrids in Japan, seagulls who collect objects from the past and future, and, yes, vampires in the lemon grove. She also posits the very important question: “What if most (but not all) U.S. presidents were reincarnated as horses in the same stable and had a lot of drama going on?” My favorite stories were “Proving Up” (about a nineteenth-century Nebraska boy who encounters death and horror on the prairie), “The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis” (about a disadvantaged high school student who discovers an effigy of the even more hapless boy he tormented), and “The Barn at the End of the Term” (the horse-president story). 

1. The Wonder by Emma Donoghue (2016)

Lib Wright, an Englishwoman who has floundered since her days working for Florence Nightingale during the Crimean War, is hired to observe Anna O’Donnell, an eleven-year-old Irish girl famous for not eating for four straight months. With a jaundiced attitude towards the Irish and Catholicism, Lib is confident that she’ll quickly expose Anna as a fraud, but she finds herself liking the girl and getting increasingly drawn into the disturbing mystery of her fast. Like The Perilous Gard, this novel masterfully plays with the possibility of the supernatural, then introduces a technically mundane explanation that’s somehow much more eerie. Donoghue balances the horror and waste that surrounds Anna, though, with the clear, bright prose and the moving relationship that develops between her and Lib, who grows beyond her narrow-mindedness and emotional numbness. I stayed up half the night to finish this novel, which cemented Emma Donoghue’s status as my new favorite author.

[hoodlessmads]

I’m Caught Up With Bloom Into You

Gosh, where do I even begin with this series?

I watched the first episode, and by the end, honestly, I thought it was going to be pretty dumb. Cute! But dumb. And I do love me some dumb cute precious romance.

But W O W that’s not what Yagakimi is. It successfully pulls of an excellent bait-and-switch on the reader/viewer not just once but twice--the first is at the end of the first episode (the part where I assumed it was going to be kind of cheesy and dumb), and the second around halfway through the anime series. The first one is basically the premise of the story, so it doesn’t really count as a bait-and-switch unless you go in blind like I did. But the second one takes all of the reader/viewer’s expectations up to that point and turns it on its head. And even beyond that scene, the entire series is chock full of moments that demolish your expectations for what direction the story is taking and who the characters are. Every single chapter I felt like I was being thrown for a loop, and learning something unexpected and new about the characters. Even up to the most recent damn chapter I feel like I have no idea what Nakatani-sensei is going to throw at us. And all of this is me making a point that this manga is DEEP.

I could talk at length about how gorgeous the anime is, how well-directed certain scenes are, how incredible the Japanese voice acting was (didn’t see the dub, but if anyone can carry Touko’s emotional range it’s the fabulous Luci Christian so I’m sure it’s decent), or how much I stan Michiru Ooshima. It was a great adaptation and I sincerely can’t wait for Season 2. But I’m not going to talk much about that. Instead I just need to talk about the story (the manga).

(spoilers up through Chapter 39)

You know what one of the many great things about Yagakimi is? In spite of the fact that it deals with same-gender relationships and queer issues, and while it does periodically address those issues, they’re actually not the primary focus of the characters or their struggles. From day one, Yuu is much less concerned about Touko being a girl than she is about her own inability to feel anything towards her (supposedly). And that’s not to say that those issues are ignored, like they are in some anime of this particular genre. The characters don’t live in a paradisiacal vacuum where being gay in Japan isn’t a problem and everyone around them is magically super accepting. Yuu’s sister is incredibly sweet and accepting (I love her), but her dad makes casual homophobic comments. Even after Touko initially confesses to Yuu, Yuu brushes it off as something she “probably doesn’t have to worry about” because they’re both girls, and it’s weird. Riko Hakazaki has to hide from her students, coworkers, and workplace, that she’s living with her girlfriend, because it could cause legitimate problems for her if they knew. During Sayaka’s first lesbian relationship, when she is still figuring herself out, her own girlfriend tells her that it’s “just a phase” and that she’s sorry that she “made her” that way. Even much later, when Yuu is conflicted about how she should confess her feelings to Touko, her sister Rei immediately assumes (understandably so) that she’s conflicted because of the whole gay thing. Rei starts worrying about how the family will react, if they will be accepting and supportive of her sister. Little does she know, being gay is the least of Yuu’s problems at that point.

But is being gay and the societal backlash that comes with it really that inconsequential to Yuu’s story? Yuu Koito struggles to develop romantic or sexual feelings for anyone. She exhibits clear signs of depression--intense apathy, emotional repression, struggles to find genuine joy in anything. A lot of people have posited even that she exhibits signs of sexual repression specifically. And this is one of the core conversations we can have about Yuu’s character. How much of her “inability to love” is because she is legitimately somewhere on the ace spectrum, perhaps demisexual (she develops feelings after getting to know someone, to put it simply)? And how much of it is her unconsciously repressing her own feelings (perhaps homosexual) for her entire life, resulting in a scenario where even she doesn’t know how to get them back? There isn’t a clear answer here. No one knows. Yuu doesn’t even know. And that’s the point!

The characters. Are so. Good. Yuu, Touko, and Sayaka are the obvious powerhouses here, all three of them multi-layered people that I can and will analyze at length. But Yagakimi doesn’t sleep on the minor characters either. Yuu and Touko don’t exist in a vacuum. From Yuu’s sister and her boyfriend to Maki, the juxtaposing aromantic and asexual friend and ally, to Yuu’s surprisingly likable best friends, to Hakozaki-sensei and her girlfriend Miyako, to even Dojima. Everyone matters. Everyone gets their own little storyline. I’m tempted to be reminded of Kimi ni Todoke and the brilliant way it handled its side characters here. Although Bloom Into You is much shorter than KnT, and therefore has a lot less time to develop those side characters and relationships, it still provides them with their own layers, their own problems, their own mini-spotlights. And it makes me care about every single one. Riko and Miyako’s cute ass and wholesome adult love story, Akari’s dumb doomed crush on basketball senpai, Koyomi’s dreams of becoming an author and her infatuation with a certain idol of hers, Maki’s experiences as a contented bystander. I adore and welcome it.

Let’s talk about Touko Nanami before this gets any longer than it needs to be. To be honest, I have a type when it comes to characters, and it’s the ones that are suicidal and hate themselves, probably because I relate to that stuff more than anything (though I also relate to Yuu’s apathetic brand of depression). This character. This character. One of the things I love most about her is how consistently the reader is lured into thinking they know her, and then consistently proven wrong. (I think we share this experience with Yuu.) It takes episodes, chapters, volumes to slowly chip away at the layers and layers of personality we’re given before we finally arrive at the truly heartbreaking core, which is a girl with a fractured identity and deep, deep self-loathing that defies all logic. And it’s because it defies all logic that it’s so scary. Because that kind of self-hatred doesn’t just go away. You can’t just fix it. It’s there to stay, and it’s not just your friendly neighborhood self-hatred--painful, but an otherwise harmless roommate. It’s actually dangerous, and it has the power to destroy Touko’s relationships with others and even destroy herself. (The scene in the anime where she stands in front of the railroad tracks and almost takes a step forward, thus nearly giving me a heart attack, comes to mind.) It defies logic, so there’s no logical way to beat it, either. And it’s not just the self-loathing that gets me and makes my heart hurt for her; it’s the loss of oneself, the lack of one’s identity as an individual. The loss of on’s own sense of self, especially at such a young and vulnerable age, is debilitating. Touko is really good at wearing that super serene smile, but when the chips are down, nothing is going to stand in the way of her and what essentially amounts to obliterating herself from existence. Not even Yuu. And then we come to her crippling fear of being loved by anyone, which is an aspect of self-hatred that probably doesn’t get enough acknowledgment. She hates herself to the point that the thought of someone loving her, which should make her happy, actually hurts. How fucked is that.

But I never gave Touko enough credit. To be honest, in chapter 34 when Yuu (finally) confesses, I was expecting her reaction to be really bad. Like, really bad. I was expecting a shitshow, a blowout of their relationship (temporarily of course). I was expecting basically what Yuu thinks that she got. And for that one page, I swear I felt my heart forcibly ripped from my chest. But then I read the next page and was surprised to see just how much she’s changed over the course of the series, how unexpectedly maturely she took the confession and examined her own feelings afterwards, how quickly (and once again, maturely) she deduced that she’d been making Yuu suffer. It makes me appreciate their relationship even more than I did before, and it makes me want to root for them. (Not that I wasn’t already.) The chapters just keep getting better and better from here on, I swear.

Sayaka deserves her own post, but the queen has her own novel series at least. Sayaka could SO EASILY have been that bitch. Nakatani could have created this rival love interest who treated Yuu like shit and was a possessive asshole and just stopped there. But instead, we got Sayaka, who ends up being one of the best and most well-developed characters. And in the many many times where I was calling Yuu and Touko “you dumb bitch,” Sayaka was there, the smartest and most honest of the three by far, which was refreshing. Her backstory is utterly heartbreaking, her love for Touko touching as hell, and her rise from the ashes, so to speak, is inspiring. Fuck that senpai. Sayaka isn’t even that mean to Yuu, on top of it all. I mean, she can be kind of snippy. And understandably so. But they actually end up surprisingly getting along? I am shook to my core. Sayaka’s growth is one of the greatest sights to behold in this series. Her friendship with Touko isn’t sidelined in favor of Touko’s relationship with Yuu--far from it. Sayaka provides her own unique support and sparks Touko’s development in a way that Yuu never could. Their friendship is crucial. By the time Sayaka FINALLY confesses, I was so god damn proud of her and her bravery, I swear I could have cried. While Yuu was busy being in practiced denial for 40 chapters, Sayaka was OUT THERE learning to be completely up front and honest with herself and others about her feelings. (Not to knock on Yuu, because she has her own arc to go through to get there.) That whole fucking scene where they’re both just sobbing about shit afterwards Got Me.

Ugh. It’s been an emotional few days. I’m really glad I decided to start watching that first episode, because this entire series has been a series of pleasant surprises. This is a good anime, ya’ll. It’s a good character study. It’s a good love story. It’s a good gay love story. It’s all of those things. You could literally talk forever about all the nuances of this story and characters and all the things that make it as good as it is. This long ass post just brushes the surface. For now, I’m anxiously (ANXIOUSLY) awaiting chapter 40. If you know, you know.

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

Ever since I saw that first child liaison post I have known no peace, like, I keep imagining them as a kind of Frisk-like character that legit saves universes and prevents horrific catastrophes w/ their hugs and infinite amount of love and DETERMINATION. This tiny kid just kinda,,, makes friends wherever they be. How would the LL crew react if that was the case?

Rodimus thinks you’re the bee’s knees honestly. You’re always ready to go and never quits halfway. Once you put your mind to something you do it, that’s a good quality to have. Rodimus acts like a brother to you and he’s always there to praise you for a job well done. You’ve got a ton of Rodimus stars for being “the best kid in the universe”.

Ultra Magnus/Minimus Ambus had his doubts about you when he first saw you but they all disappeared the moment you stopped a fight between Whirl and another bot by just hugging them. From that moment on he has nothing but the highest respect for you and he regularly seeks you out for advice, despite your young age.

Megatron is like “how?” He used to think that things could never be solved peacefully, that force was the only answer, but here you come and show him the opposite. It fills him with… hope. He also admires your determination. It all reminds him of himself back in the day, before he became the infamous warlord he is known as today.

Drift loves how peaceful you are and the amount of determination you have. You never seem to give up, not even when everything seems hopeless, and he admires that. Once he offered to teach you the way of the sword but gently put him down on his offer, telling him you do not wish to hurt anyone. That’s one more thing he admires about you.

Swerve is mildly confused. He’s seen a lot of Earth movies/TV shows and while most of them had some sort of child character in them none of them was nowhere as sweet as you! Not that he’s complaining! No, Swerve thinks you’re awesome! You always gladly listen on him babbling on and you give the best hugs! You really are the sweetest!

Ten haven’t met any other kid than you but he’s still 100% sure that you’re the best kid ever. You treat him like any other person and don’t even mention his speech impediment. You often sit and do crafts with with him and draw, just like a regular kid should. He often carries you around on his shoulder and he loves your hugs.

Skids thinks you’re amazing. He’s never met a person quite like you before, so young and bright and full of positivity. He loves to be around you since you bring this calm aura wherever you go. He invites you to climb in the vents with him and it quickly turns into your own personal adventure that both of you bond over.

Riptide thinks you’re cool. You never get stressed and always does your best, something he really appreciates and looks up to. Riptide likes when you’re around since everyone, including him, get so happy. REALLY likes your hugs and does his best to return them without hurting you by mistake.

Rung adores you, he truly does. Most bots on the ship are violent and unstable and while he cares about all of them he can’t help but appreciate how calm and naturally kind you are. You are easy and very pleasant to talk to and very mature for your age. Every time he sees you it brings a smile to his face and joy to his spark.

Whirl huffs and puffs whenever you do that “love” thing. It’s disgusting. Ew, don’t hug him. Of course this is a huge lie and he only acts like this because there’s not way he would ever admit that he actually really adores it. He will protect you from anyone that would be stupid enough to harm you and will go to the end of the world if it meant helping you.

Fortress Maximus tries to stay away from you at first, since he don’t want to accidentally hurt you, but you are determined to befriend him. Eventually you crack through that hard exterior of him and he’s glad you did because he comes to really treasure you. You’re one of the few people he feels completely calm around and he automatically relax around you.

Tailgate ADORES you! You’re just so sweet and kind and adorable and sweet and-! Wait, did he say sweet twice? It doesn’t matter because you really are sweet! He loves your hugs and how everything just seems to work out so well with you around! If you are like Frisk then Tailgate is your Papyrus. The two of you spend a lot of time together.

Cyclonus kinda sees like a second Tailgate. Small? Check. Cute? Check. Sweet as sugar? Double check. He can’t help but be quite protective of you, even when you prove to be able to handle yourself. He appreciates how calm you are and that you’re a pacifist, children should not fight.

Chromedome is suspicious at first. Why are you so nice? Is there something you want from them? Eventually he warms up to you and realizes that you’re just that kind of person. Honestly he’s with Rewind on this one, he wants to adopt you too but he’s less vocal about it. Adore you though and treats you like his own child.

Rewind wants to adopt you at once, you’re just the perfect kid in his optics. You’re so kind and calm, always happy and gosh you’re adorable! He’s the daddiest dad to ever dad. He’s constantly got his camera recording so he can catch every milestone and adorable moment. His favorite one is the one where you calm down Ratchet with a mere hug.

Brainstorm is 92,4% sure that you’re not actually human. No human, nor cybertronian for that matter, can be that peaceful and kind, it’s impossible! But while he tries to find proof about your inhuman nature he greatly enjoys of your kind nature. Though he tries to convince you to let him make you a gun. It would be the coolest gun in the universe.

Perceptor is even more insistent on teaching you science now since not only are you mature for your age, you are also nice to be around. Not only that but he always gets so much inspiration with you nearby. And with so many new ideas he needs a lab assistant to help him out and who’s better suited than you?

First Aid looks up to you. It doesn’t matter that you’re millions of years younger, he looks up to you. You’re always calm and collected and can anyone calm down and feel safe. That is something every medic tries to be. Besides, you have this way of just befriending everyone you meet and that includes First Aid. He likes to spend time with you.

Ratchet tries to act just as grumpy as usual but with you around it’s not that easy. You’re just so gosh darn kind and cute and now he’s smiling, damn it! You’re one of the few people that can calm him down when he gets mad and you’re also his favorite patient since you sit still and don’t complain. Good patients get lollipops.

[labyrinth-of-headcanons]

Hairpin

Chapter VI

Main Pairing: Kouen X Chaima (OC) Genre: Romance/Drama

Like the tradition requires, Chaima was supposed to give the hairpin to the man she’d marry. While she never believed in the day to come, for her to really follow her mother’s words, she couldn’t have foreseen one little accident that would turn her life around in the little time they spent together. However, with Kouen’s sharp words and keen mind, it was only a matter of time until she found herself falling more and more for the prince that captured her heart.

a/n: Some struggles with the conversation but I am just happy to be able to write about then interacting with each other :3 I hope you enjoy this chapter!

She should have cleaned. She should have picked up the loose papers on the floor, made her bed, and closed the drawers of her dresser. Chaima quickly moved in front of the prince to shut the loosely hanging drawer displaying her skirts. Her head was as red as Kouen’s hair, and for once she was happy about the slight darkness in the room that hid her from his sight, even if it was just for a little. He simply stood in the doorway, arms crossed and face as stern as ever. She had never found her room to be extremely small, but for both of them there was barely any space to stand upright in it.

It was a strange mixture of shame and realization. For the first time, Chaima thought that her living conditions weren’t as good as she always had praised them to be. Even to her it was unclear why she felt so ashamed in front of him all the time, but she did. Through the small window that lightened the room, she could see how the dust twirled through the air, and Chaima couldn’t help but let out a quiet, desperate sigh. Wringing her hands in front of her stomach, she looked at the floor. It was dead quiet between them, even a needle hitting the ground would have been louder.

She held her breath for most of the time, disconnecting a little from what was happening. Even more so, Chaima flinched when Kouen moved further into the room. He knelt down - surprisingly elegant she found - and picked up one of the papers on the floor. Standing up with it, he inspected it in the small light resource they had. “Writing practice?” he mumbled. The question in his voice pierced through her like an icy dagger, and she just returned to looking down in shame.

The way he had looked over to her clearly showed he wanted some answers, but Chaima kept silent, not feeling like saying anything. He proceeded to pick up more of the notes on the ground as well as one of her mathematic books which rested next to her bed and also acted like a nightstand for her candle. He looked through the papers, flipping a few pages in the book, all while Chaima fumbled nervously at the fabric of her skirt. The prince was nice enough to put the book back and then came closer to her and put the papers on the dresser. The only thing Chaima could think about was, Now he cleaned up my mess.

She took a quiet, deep breath, still standing with her back to the dresser with her eyes glued on the floor. By now, he stood so close next to her, their shoulders touching, and he was still busy with looking through her notes. “There’s a mistake,” he pointed out, finally making her wake up from her tense state. First she looked at him while he kept staring at the papers, then she followed his fingers down to a specific word he was pointing at. Turning around, she looked over it, finding nothing wrong. “It would be… this,” Kouen said while drawing a character onto the paper with his fingers.

“I don’t know that one yet…” Chaima mumbled, only realizing what she had said once it had left her. She bit her lip in shame, hanging her head low, all while he observed her. Slightly turning towards the maid, he picked up her right arm, pushing all her fingers out of the way except for her pointer and began running it over the rough paper. He did it once, twice, and a third time. Then he stopped, taking away his hands while she remained the same. She had watched his doings in a mix of horror and curiosity, and when he prompted her with a small, “Do it yourself,” she did what he had showed her. And she did it for a few seconds until her brain got used to it. She didn’t know the meaning yet, but she was sure to look it up later.

“Now you know it,” Kouen stated simply, and Chaima - a little flustered about her actually getting so invested in the act - pulled back her hand and nodded. “Thank you, Your Highness...” she replied, a light blush on her cheeks. He sighed for a short amount of time. It had her wondering why, but she felt too shy to ask if he was okay. “So you didn’t learn writing as a child?” he asked, making her return into a flustered state, before she replied, “No…” Some wrinkles appeared on his forehead and he inspected her for a few seconds. “You are not from Kou?”

Now it was her time to be confused. Eyeing the small mirror on top of her drawer from the sides of her eyes, she saw her reflections. How could he think someone of her complexion would come from Kou? “No, I’m from Balbadd, Sir,” she replied, finding some pride in these words. He turned around towards her fully, crossing his arms in front of her chest. “Where exactly?” Somehow the way he stood didn’t look so menacing anymore, as it did the first few times. Still, Chaima took a step back, making it easier for her to look up as they conversed.

“Tanhae, next to the upper harbor of the country.” He confirmed that he knew about the place she spoke of by nodding at her words. However, the wrinkles still held firm onto his forehead. “You came quite some distance. What made you do that?” That was the moment her stomach started to tighten. Never had she spoken with anyone about this before and thinking about it made her anxious. How would he react? Would he even care about something as low as her backstory?

She kept silent for a while, prompting him to sigh again. It frustrated her too, knowing she couldn’t just speak up for the sake of herself, and it hurt seeing him dismiss her from it. Chaima’s voice was very quiet and brittle when she finally talked, “There’s more money to earn in Kou…” It was more like a whisper and her posture ducked away from him as she spoke. Head trying to hide between her shoulders and hands clutched in her lap, she looked like a mouse, frozen in place at the mercy of her predator.

“There wasn’t much left in my hometown and I support my family with all I have. They figured it was better to send me elsewhere than to work there,” she explained, peeking through her eyelashes up to him. He was indeed staring at her intently but it seemed like he was interested in her words. “How long have you been here?” he continued to question. “Almost six years now, Sir.” Chaima heard him hum in response. “When will you go back?” Kouen asked. It struck her as an odd question, but it made sense for someone so politically involved as he was to ask it.

“I’m not sure yet, Your Highness. I… we need the money,” Chaima stuttered, nervously wringing her thumbs around each other. She took a deep breath. Yes, it was a sensitive topic, but who could she better direct her words at than a person of his status? “My siblings, I have two, they are starting school this summer.” She made a short pause, looking at the papers nervously. But then her expression softened as she added, “They’ll be the first in our family to do so.”

She stepped closer to the drawer, pulling out the third from the top and revealing many neatly bound letter packs. They were tidily positioned, allowing every space to be used. A few still laid loosely in the drawer since they weren’t enough to bind them together yet. “My mother said it’s all thanks to the money I sent them.” She picked up the one that was on top of the others, unpacking it from the envelope and giving it to the prince.

While he looked a little perplex about the offer to read something so private, he took over the letter, his eyes scanning it carefully. When he was finished, he turned the paper once to make sure he didn’t miss anything, before folding it and giving it back to her. “I see,” he mumbled. The letter had spoken about how Chaima’s parents bought the school uniforms for the twins and did a medical check-up. It was not like she expected him to praise her for what she’d done, but for a moment, Chaima wanted to share her pride and joy with him. There was nothing more important than family to her.

“And yet,” he started, giving the room another look over before continuing, “are you okay with this?” His hand made a vague gesture through the room. “Do not get me wrong. I am well aware there are worse conditions for some servants,” he added. The tone of his voice changed as he said that, it was as if he had told a statistical fact and there was no such thing as empathy in it. “However, to live here for more than a short period of time seems unpleasant.”

Chaima let out her breath, following his hand and looking over her room intently. “Your Highness, forgive me for saying this, but I do not know much about you.” She felt how his body tensed at her words since he stood next to her. Chaima didn’t care - no, she couldn’t care less in that moment. “Do you have siblings, Your Highness?” she asked, smiling wryly at him. There was no spark of happiness in her eyes. Instead they were pleading with him to just go along with what she wanted to say.

“I do. I have a lot of younger siblings,” he replied, crossing his arms in front of his chest again. He seemed defensive and his words had a somewhat taunting ring to them, but Chaima didn’t mind. At that point she couldn’t resent him for how he was anymore. Their relationship might not have been close, but for the moment they were merely seeing eye to eye with each other. “Then you must understand that, no matter how hard or unpleasant something is, as the oldest you will do anything to support your family. Tell me if I am wrong, but don’t you feel the same, Your Highness?”

The staring contest that followed was merciless. Chaima figured at some point it was time to give up, as she watched his face contort after confronting him with this. It signified things like ‘Don’t talk like you know me’ and ‘You’re right but I do not appreciate it’. If you look at him long enough, he’s not that hard to figure out, she thought. Nevertheless, she felt like she had found a weak spot, and biting her lower lip, she was only seconds away from apologizing.

Much to her surprise however, he was the first one to advert his eyes. Or well, he closed them, thinking for a second about what to say. “You’re right. I would go to great lengths for them.” His confession caught her off-guard and she felt the control over her mouth slip away, making her jaw drop in surprise. Victory swelled in her chest and she couldn’t help but smile at him. There was some newfound respect for the prince in her, as she had never expected him to admit something like this.

Turning away from him again and looking back into the room once more she said, “And that’s why this isn’t so bad at all.” Chaima drove her hand over the footboard of the bed, starting to list, “There’s a bed,” pointing at the dresser, she added, “something to put my belongings in, and a window even.” She smiled at him sweetly, feeling very pumped after having brought her point along successfully. “I never had such a nice room before, not even at home.”

Kouen gave her a quick nod. He looked somewhat defeated but he did uphold his dignity at all times. Maybe that’s what royalty really was: losing, but with grace. Though - and Chaima thought it was a little childish of him - it’s not like they had been in a war. In the end, she wondered if agreeing with her really was something he was so against doing. Was it because in the end she was just a servant? Or was there something more behind it that she didn’t know about?

To her, the man was like one of those books she used to study. Filled with questions and riddles that seemed too complex to her but were probably easier than she thought. And yet, just like those books, he really did spark her curiosity. Even with the few words they had shared, she felt there was so much more she wanted to tell him. And she also wanted to hear more about him too. Maybe it was just his voice Chaima wanted to continue ringing in her head, but she noticed how she hung onto every word that left his lips whenever he opened them.

“If you are putting it like this, it sounds as if they are taking really good care of their servants,” he noted. The prince had found a more leisurely position, leaning against the dresser while facing her, standing on the opposite direction of him. “Well…” Chaima gulped. She knew better than to spoil the comfortable atmosphere they had, by complaining about her employers. So she simply said, “They take better care of us than the ones I was at before. And they… give us work… Oh! And they pay good.”

She heard an surprisingly amused snicker from him as he stated, “You did good to memorise that.” She let out a nervous laugh. He got me, Chaima thought, not replying to him. Less than a minute passed, and the two of them stood around in the small room in silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable atmosphere, but certainly it would have been better if they had talked to each other.

“What does Your Highness-” As soon as she started to speak up, Chaima heard an all too familiar sound. Footsteps that quickly came up the stairs and dared to expose the prince’s presence. Out of reflex, Chaima jumped over to the door, shutting it right before she heard how the steps passed her room. They seemed to have gotten a little slower around the area of her door, maybe having noticed that someone closed it the moment they approached. Hearing the room next to her’s rattling, Chaima could figure out it had been Nysete who had come back to her own room.

Chaima felt her face paling and a cold shudder run through her as she realized she should have never entertained the prince in her room for so long. Now she was at risk of being exposed, and if she had interpreted the reactions of her co-workers correctly before, this would bring her into a dire situation. Turning towards her visitor again, while leaning against the door to keep it shut, she whispered, “We have to leave.” Kouen had stood up tall again, taking a deep breath at her insecurity showing.

There was a somewhat annoyed expression resting on his face, as he agreed, “Very well.” Chaima didn’t dare to waste any more time. She opened the door and peeked through the gap carefully, making sure no one could see the two as they slipped out and made their way down. Luckily, Nysete had been the only one coming back from her duty and Chaima could lead the prince away easily.

It had surprised her how obedient he acted, following her every step. The moment they reached the sliding door out to the main hallway, she made sure no one was there to see them too. The tension leaving her body as she let out a deep sigh, she stepped aside, letting the prince go out first. Chaima wouldn’t let this be taken from her, to escort him the five steps to the door of his room, and fulfill her ‘mission’.

The two of them stood in front of it for a few moments in silence. She finally bowed politely, giving the prince a weak smile. “It was a pleasure, Your Highness. Please excuse my frantic behavior throughout the time we spent together.” Her voice was slightly more quiet than it had been before, as she still feared that anyone could be listening in on them, but he seemed to understand her. Giving her one, firm nod, he opened the sliding door to his room, turning towards her once more before entering.

“I’ll expect you to guide me back to my room this evening after dinner, Chaima.” Her expression faltered under the sudden command. She was surprised about his words as well as him still remembering her name. Flabbergasted, she nodded, mumbling “Okay?” Their eyes met for another moment. Chaima wondered when his piercing red had turned into quite such a shimmering color, and for a moment his expression seemed much softer again.

“After excusing so much from you, you need to pay me the respect I’m due,” he said. There was seriousness only in his choice of words, but his voice sounded as if he was joking with her, friendly even. Chaima couldn’t help a small grin escaping her, before she immediately bit her lip, realizing that’s not how she was supposed to act. Sadly her mind didn’t react fast enough to forbid her from speaking the words that slipped her lips next.

“Well, if the prince says so,” she replied in a just as jokingly manner. The silence returned and she flushed bright red, noticing that he seemed surprised about that comeback. Bowing deep, she backed away, stuttering, “I’ll be with you later then! Goodbye!” Before he could get back to that, she had gotten into the servant hallway again, slamming the door shut a little bit too forceful.

Kouen stayed behind, covering his mouth with his hand as he noticed the smile crossing his lips. “Brother?” he heard from behind. “There you are! We were searching for you, the meeting is already over-” His sister, the princess, approached him steadily, her voice coming to a halt as she noticed his expression. “D-did something happen?” He shook his head slowly, the smile not fading from his lips at any point in time. “Nothing,” he replied, stepping into his room and closing the door behind himself.

Once she had recovered from the first shock of how she had ruined their conversation, Chaima groaned inwardly. Everything had gone so well, just why had she said something so stupid again? She pushed herself off the door she was leaning against and walked down the hallway to the outdoor area again. Passing the laundry room, security chambers and kitchen, it seemed like an eternity since she had last been there in the morning.

The air was still refreshing, though slightly colder, as she stepped down the stairs and into the grass. Like before, the white sheets were swaying peacefully in the wind and as she approached them, she remembered how the two had bumped into each other. Red flushed her cheeks, as the warmth rose in her body, and she began to take down the sheets, trying to keep herself composed.

What a weird man, she thought. Folding the sheets neatly, her mind drifting off to the image of him in her head. She didn’t notice how her heart skipped some beats as she thought about him. And Chaima didn’t give the euphoric feeling in her stomach any mind as she thought about meeting him later that day again. After all, even though it was an unfamiliar feeling of a thousand butterflies fluttering excitedly through her, how would she have figured out its meaning when she never felt like this before?

[michellelinkous]

Got Happiness? Learn How to Boost Dopamine & Create Your Own Joy!

What does happiness mean to you? We all know money can’t buy it, and not even the most enterprising of entrepreneurs have figured out how to bottle it. No matter how hard they try, experts can’t seem to crack the code on how to be happy.

The good news? When you modify your daily routine in small ways, you can increase the neurotransmitter dopamine. One of the main effects of dopamine is boosting feelings of happiness and pleasure.[1] You hold the power to create your own happiness!

Here’s how.

What Is Dopamine?

Dopamine is a "feel good" neurotransmitter involved in mood regulation.[1] Like all neurotransmitters, dopamine transmits messages between nerve cells in the brain and body. It works with another feel-good neurotransmitter — serotonin.

Higher levels of dopamine in the brain result in a positive mood. This means there is a relationship between the amount of dopamine your body releases and how happy you feel.[1] That means that by changing small things in your life, you can boost your body's dopamine production and essentially create your own happiness!

How Do I Boost Dopamine to Create Happiness?

There are many ways to increase dopamine levels and create happiness for yourself. Here are our best suggestions.

Practice Positivity & Gratitude

People tend to base their sense of well-being on the balance between positive and negative emotions.[2] Since increased dopamine is connected to a positive mood, cultivating good feelings can help you create happiness — and it will grow over time.[2]

Wondering how to incorporate the power of positive thinking into your life? Keep a notebook or journal where you write down at least one good thing that happened to you every day. Better yet, write five. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude!

So, banish negative thoughts and focus on the positive. Identify small and big happy moments to shift your focus and increase dopamine.

Fill Your Day With Things You Love

Another simple way to create your own happiness involves filling your day with little things that make you happy. Take a long, luxurious bath before bed. Create for yourself a relaxing, comfortable home with items that spark joy. Give back to others.

Spreading joy to yourself and others gives you something to look forward to. This can fill your emotional reservoir, which can help during not-so-happy moments.

Social worker Michelle K. learned the happiness-boosting power of anticipation when her son was a newborn. "Caring for a new baby can be really hard! I started treating myself to a big cup of coffee after lunch every day," she explains. "It’s a small thing that makes a big difference. Looking forward to drinking it kept my spirits high during tough times."

Get Your Sleep On!

Happy days start with restful nights. Ask anyone who has felt low after a late night or dealt with a cranky kid who missed his nap: sleep quality has a significant impact on mood.[3]A lack of sleep can also trigger junk food cravings, and poor food choices leave you feeling worse.[4] It’s a cycle that you can flip the script on!

Dopamine helps regulate circadian rhythms in the central nervous system.[5] Generally, dopamine makes you feel more awake by suppressing melatonin — the sleep hormone.

When your body does not produce enough dopamine, or the dopamine you have can’t get recycled in the normal physiological processes, you sleep less. So mind your dopamine if you want to get sleep — which will make you happier!

Treat Yourself to a Massage

You can’t buy happiness, but you can pay for a professional massage. Better yet, have your partner do it for free! The healing power of touch will increase dopamine and serotonin while reducing levels of the stress hormone cortisol.[6]

Wisconsin-based art director Curtis W. started getting massages to treat lower back pain, but it didn’t take long for him to notice how uplifted he felt after every session. "I’d walk out of the massage therapist’s office feeling like a million bucks," he says, "and the mood boost would last for days."

Even after his back pain went away, Curtis continued to get regular massages. "Any time I’m feeling low, I schedule a massage. I’m always a happier, more relaxed person afterward."

Meditate

Looking for a science-backed way to create your own happiness that won’t cost you a thing? Try meditation. Meditation involves sitting still and staying quiet for a period of time — a minimum of five minutes, but preferably ten or longer.

The change in consciousness that occurs when you’re in a meditative state triggers the body to release more dopamine.[7] And this leads to a more peaceful, happier state of mind.

One of the best things about meditation is that it doesn’t require any special equipment or a huge time commitment. It can take some time to learn to meditate, but it’s not hard! Check out our article about Dr. Group’s beginner’s meditation techniques. Meditation is wonderful, simple tool to improve your mood. The more you do it, the better you will feel.

Exercise Regularly

If you’ve felt the so-called "runner’s high" after a great workout — or after a hearty yoga session — you experienced an increase in dopamine.[8] One of the benefits of exercise is that it bumps up serum calcium levels in the body, which enhances dopamine signals and synthesis.[8] The result? A natural "high" feeling.

Retail buyer Joy P. started running because she wanted to lose a few pounds before her wedding, but exercise became much more about her emotional well being than her weight.

"I’m an anxious person, and I was amazed by how much happier and less stressed I felt after running," she says. "Now it’s my therapy. I started running 15 years ago, and I still do it at least twice a week!"

Take Your Vitamins!

In addition to making lifestyle changes that increase dopamine, your body needs specific vitamins and minerals to produce this neurotransmitter at healthy levels. Certain nutrients found in supplemental form — or in the diet — also promote normal levels of dopamine. Make sure to get enough of the following:

Vitamin D

Often called the sunshine vitamin, your body produces vitamin D naturally — but makes less in low-light conditions. This leads many people to become deficient in winter months. Vitamin D helps regulate dopamine circuits, which influences why people often become sad during the winter.[9, 10]

Low D not only reduces dopamine but can also lead to obesity![9] Make sure you get enough. Global Healing’s Suntrex® D3 is an organic, vegan vitamin D supplement that boosts brain and nervous system health, has a positive effect on the immune system, and promotes normal dopamine levels.

Calcium & Magnesium

Calcium and magnesium both play an important role in the pathways by which your brain produces dopamine. People who feel down are often deficient in magnesium and have low dopamine levels.[11]

Nearly half of the people in the United States consume less than the recommended dietary allowance (RDA) of magnesium from their food. So many people have either deficiencies or subclinical deficiencies that global experts call it a public health emergency.[12]

Since both calcium and magnesium promote normal dopamine levels, make sure you get enough of these essential minerals. It will help keep your mood more positive, promoting happiness and joy.[13] They’re often sold together, and the best supplements include calcium: magnesium in a 1:1 ratio, like Global Healing’s IntraCal®.

Probiotics

Probiotic supplements — helpful microbes — also play a role in promoting a healthful mood.[14, 15, 16] Multiple studies have linked probiotic intake to a happier mood and improved overall mental health.[15] Strains known to influence mental wellness are called psychobiotics.[16]

Some strains may promote normal dopamine, such as Lactobacillus plantarum.[14] Look for a high-quality, multi-strain formula, such as Floratrex®, a blend of prebiotics plus live cultures from 25 probiotic strains, including Lactobacillus plantarum.

Turmeric

Curcumin, the main active constituent in turmeric, has mood-elevating properties because it modulates the release of dopamine and serotonin.[17]

When paired with black pepper (piperine), turmeric is better absorbed by the body.[17] Look for a supplement like Global Healing’s Organic Turmeric Raw Herbal Extract™ that contains black pepper as well as Energized Trace Minerals™ to heighten absorption.

Oregano

The oil of Mediterranean oregano (Origanum vulgare) can lift mood because of the way it interacts with the body system that produces dopamine.[18] Oregano’s active ingredient, called carvacrol, has many promising health benefits.

When used regularly, carvacrol may promote normal dopamine and serotonin levels in the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus, parts of the brain involved in behavior and thought processes.[19]

Points to Remember

You may not be able to buy happiness, but you can create your own! Lifestyle choices like positive thinking, filling your day with things you love, getting enough sleep, treating yourself to a mood-lifting massage, meditating, and exercising regularly can boost dopamine — and your happiness.

Using supplements to support normal dopamine levels is a powerful way to promote happiness. Vitamin D, magnesium, probiotics, ginseng, turmeric, and oregano are all great for this happiness boost.

What do you do to create your own happiness? Do you have any tips on how to increase dopamine naturally? We’d love to hear about what works for you.

The post Got Happiness? Learn How to Boost Dopamine & Create Your Own Joy! appeared first on Dr. Group's Healthy Living Articles.

Got Happiness? Learn How to Boost Dopamine & Create Your Own Joy! published first on https://smartdrinkingweb.tumblr.com/

[gordonwilliamsweb]

Got Happiness? Learn How to Boost Dopamine & Create Your Own Joy!

What does happiness mean to you? We all know money can’t buy it, and not even the most enterprising of entrepreneurs have figured out how to bottle it. No matter how hard they try, experts can’t seem to crack the code on how to be happy.

The good news? When you modify your daily routine in small ways, you can increase the neurotransmitter dopamine. One of the main effects of dopamine is boosting feelings of happiness and pleasure.[1] You hold the power to create your own happiness!

Here’s how.

What Is Dopamine?

Dopamine is a "feel good" neurotransmitter involved in mood regulation.[1] Like all neurotransmitters, dopamine transmits messages between nerve cells in the brain and body. It works with another feel-good neurotransmitter — serotonin.

Higher levels of dopamine in the brain result in a positive mood. This means there is a relationship between the amount of dopamine your body releases and how happy you feel.[1] That means that by changing small things in your life, you can boost your body's dopamine production and essentially create your own happiness!

How Do I Boost Dopamine to Create Happiness?

There are many ways to increase dopamine levels and create happiness for yourself. Here are our best suggestions.

Practice Positivity & Gratitude

People tend to base their sense of well-being on the balance between positive and negative emotions.[2] Since increased dopamine is connected to a positive mood, cultivating good feelings can help you create happiness — and it will grow over time.[2]

Wondering how to incorporate the power of positive thinking into your life? Keep a notebook or journal where you write down at least one good thing that happened to you every day. Better yet, write five. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude!

So, banish negative thoughts and focus on the positive. Identify small and big happy moments to shift your focus and increase dopamine.

Fill Your Day With Things You Love

Another simple way to create your own happiness involves filling your day with little things that make you happy. Take a long, luxurious bath before bed. Create for yourself a relaxing, comfortable home with items that spark joy. Give back to others.

Spreading joy to yourself and others gives you something to look forward to. This can fill your emotional reservoir, which can help during not-so-happy moments.

Social worker Michelle K. learned the happiness-boosting power of anticipation when her son was a newborn. "Caring for a new baby can be really hard! I started treating myself to a big cup of coffee after lunch every day," she explains. "It’s a small thing that makes a big difference. Looking forward to drinking it kept my spirits high during tough times."

Get Your Sleep On!

Happy days start with restful nights. Ask anyone who has felt low after a late night or dealt with a cranky kid who missed his nap: sleep quality has a significant impact on mood.[3]A lack of sleep can also trigger junk food cravings, and poor food choices leave you feeling worse.[4] It’s a cycle that you can flip the script on!

Dopamine helps regulate circadian rhythms in the central nervous system.[5] Generally, dopamine makes you feel more awake by suppressing melatonin — the sleep hormone.

When your body does not produce enough dopamine, or the dopamine you have can’t get recycled in the normal physiological processes, you sleep less. So mind your dopamine if you want to get sleep — which will make you happier!

Treat Yourself to a Massage

You can’t buy happiness, but you can pay for a professional massage. Better yet, have your partner do it for free! The healing power of touch will increase dopamine and serotonin while reducing levels of the stress hormone cortisol.[6]

Wisconsin-based art director Curtis W. started getting massages to treat lower back pain, but it didn’t take long for him to notice how uplifted he felt after every session. "I’d walk out of the massage therapist’s office feeling like a million bucks," he says, "and the mood boost would last for days."

Even after his back pain went away, Curtis continued to get regular massages. "Any time I’m feeling low, I schedule a massage. I’m always a happier, more relaxed person afterward."

Meditate

Looking for a science-backed way to create your own happiness that won’t cost you a thing? Try meditation. Meditation involves sitting still and staying quiet for a period of time — a minimum of five minutes, but preferably ten or longer.

The change in consciousness that occurs when you’re in a meditative state triggers the body to release more dopamine.[7] And this leads to a more peaceful, happier state of mind.

One of the best things about meditation is that it doesn’t require any special equipment or a huge time commitment. It can take some time to learn to meditate, but it’s not hard! Check out our article about Dr. Group’s beginner’s meditation techniques. Meditation is wonderful, simple tool to improve your mood. The more you do it, the better you will feel.

Exercise Regularly

If you’ve felt the so-called "runner’s high" after a great workout — or after a hearty yoga session — you experienced an increase in dopamine.[8] One of the benefits of exercise is that it bumps up serum calcium levels in the body, which enhances dopamine signals and synthesis.[8] The result? A natural "high" feeling.

Retail buyer Joy P. started running because she wanted to lose a few pounds before her wedding, but exercise became much more about her emotional well being than her weight.

"I’m an anxious person, and I was amazed by how much happier and less stressed I felt after running," she says. "Now it’s my therapy. I started running 15 years ago, and I still do it at least twice a week!"

Take Your Vitamins!

In addition to making lifestyle changes that increase dopamine, your body needs specific vitamins and minerals to produce this neurotransmitter at healthy levels. Certain nutrients found in supplemental form — or in the diet — also promote normal levels of dopamine. Make sure to get enough of the following:

Vitamin D

Often called the sunshine vitamin, your body produces vitamin D naturally — but makes less in low-light conditions. This leads many people to become deficient in winter months. Vitamin D helps regulate dopamine circuits, which influences why people often become sad during the winter.[9, 10]

Low D not only reduces dopamine but can also lead to obesity![9] Make sure you get enough. Global Healing’s Suntrex® D3 is an organic, vegan vitamin D supplement that boosts brain and nervous system health, has a positive effect on the immune system, and promotes normal dopamine levels.

Calcium & Magnesium

Calcium and magnesium both play an important role in the pathways by which your brain produces dopamine. People who feel down are often deficient in magnesium and have low dopamine levels.[11]

Nearly half of the people in the United States consume less than the recommended dietary allowance (RDA) of magnesium from their food. So many people have either deficiencies or subclinical deficiencies that global experts call it a public health emergency.[12]

Since both calcium and magnesium promote normal dopamine levels, make sure you get enough of these essential minerals. It will help keep your mood more positive, promoting happiness and joy.[13] They’re often sold together, and the best supplements include calcium: magnesium in a 1:1 ratio, like Global Healing’s IntraCal®.

Probiotics

Probiotic supplements — helpful microbes — also play a role in promoting a healthful mood.[14, 15, 16] Multiple studies have linked probiotic intake to a happier mood and improved overall mental health.[15] Strains known to influence mental wellness are called psychobiotics.[16]

Some strains may promote normal dopamine, such as Lactobacillus plantarum.[14] Look for a high-quality, multi-strain formula, such as Floratrex®, a blend of prebiotics plus live cultures from 25 probiotic strains, including Lactobacillus plantarum.

Turmeric

Curcumin, the main active constituent in turmeric, has mood-elevating properties because it modulates the release of dopamine and serotonin.[17]

When paired with black pepper (piperine), turmeric is better absorbed by the body.[17] Look for a supplement like Global Healing’s Organic Turmeric Raw Herbal Extract™ that contains black pepper as well as Energized Trace Minerals™ to heighten absorption.

Oregano

The oil of Mediterranean oregano (Origanum vulgare) can lift mood because of the way it interacts with the body system that produces dopamine.[18] Oregano’s active ingredient, called carvacrol, has many promising health benefits.

When used regularly, carvacrol may promote normal dopamine and serotonin levels in the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus, parts of the brain involved in behavior and thought processes.[19]

Points to Remember

You may not be able to buy happiness, but you can create your own! Lifestyle choices like positive thinking, filling your day with things you love, getting enough sleep, treating yourself to a mood-lifting massage, meditating, and exercising regularly can boost dopamine — and your happiness.

Using supplements to support normal dopamine levels is a powerful way to promote happiness. Vitamin D, magnesium, probiotics, ginseng, turmeric, and oregano are all great for this happiness boost.

What do you do to create your own happiness? Do you have any tips on how to increase dopamine naturally? We’d love to hear about what works for you.

The post Got Happiness? Learn How to Boost Dopamine & Create Your Own Joy! appeared first on Dr. Group's Healthy Living Articles.

Got Happiness? Learn How to Boost Dopamine & Create Your Own Joy! published first on https://nootropicspowdersupplier.tumblr.com/

[mwg-us]

Free MiniWarGaming Vault Trial - MiniWarGaming

Here's just a few reasons why you should try the MiniWarGaming Vault for FREE Crush your opponents... In the MiniWarGaming Vault you'll have access to more battle reports, as well as the post game shows with in-depth tactical analysis of the games (well, except for Dave's games, but we all love Dave). Watch more of your favourite games: Try out the Vault for free and get more battle reports... "I'm a Vault member because it's amazing. It's amazing because of the extra content you get. It's amazing because it helps support MWG, and help them keep producing content. It's amazing how much MWG is doing for the community. As someone that was brought into 40k mostly because of MWG videos, this is a great way for me to give back for all the great times I've had due to them peaking my interest long ago."Brian (NubimusPrime) from Pittsburgh, PA Wow your friends with your painting skills... (Silver Members Only) With our daily painting tips and tutorials you will finally be able to hone your painting skills, whether you are a brand new painter, or a seasoned one. Try out the Vault for free and get more painting tutorials... "You should definitely buy the Vault membership. I was two sided about it at one point thinking are all those other videos worth it? The answer is yes!! Even if you get the Bronze. $3 a month is enough to spare for all the amazing things that you get. Buy it!! Buy it now!!"Kaptin Obvious from UK Support MiniWarGaming... We might not have the prettiest of faces, but we love making videos, and that ain't free. We've got to pay our video creators, our rent, our order-monkey Justin to buy all his Chinese food, and for all those other "fun" bills. Our Vault members make this possible. Try out the Vault for free and help us make even more videos... "Although I am not the actual Prime Minister, I still declare that the MiniWarGaming Vault is one of the best values for the money. MiniWarGaming provides entertaining, informative and varied content for many of the most active games to date. With more vault members they can expand to more systems and bring more content!"Stephen Wallace Harper from Hastings, MN USA Get over $800 of DVDs / Blu-Rays Over the years we have amassed quite the collection of painting and terrain DVDs, and you get instant access to all of them (via streaming video and HD Digital Downloads). Try out the Vault for free and get all our DVDs and Blu-Rays... Even more testimonials from real Vault members... "Vault is full of awesome content that a warhammer fan would love to watch. Great painting tutorials by Kris too! He is one of the best parts about the vault. It's cheap too so i really have been enjoying my vault experience."Jebu911 from Finland"I joined for the free painting tutorial DVD and stayed for the awesome-ness. This site has a lot of interesting videos. It's a great deal for the money. The Batreps are really cool and I've learned a lot about Warhammer 40k (a game I've recently picked back up) and other games that are played on a large table. I had so much fun I upgraded my service to Silver. It was the best deal for me. Looking forward to more painting videos, more batreps and more awesome-ness. Thanks guys!"Jake from Oklahoma - USA"You should join the vault 'couse its awesome. Sure you can go to you tube and watch, but thats just half the fun, in the vault you get to see all videos MWG have done over the years, and not only that, if you choose silver or gold membership,(Gold member myself since i like what they are doing and we should suport the community as good as we can), you get to download the videos and you get free downloadable dvd, its awesome. MWG Wants YOU to join the vault and be part of the awesomeness that is MWG"Andreas from Boden, Sweden"I had been watching MiniWarGamings 40k battlereports for roughly a year before I decided to join The Vault. I liked the videos and the contents that they made, and I felt that I wanted to contribute. As I was running low on battlereports that I hadn't seen, I decided to take the leap. I was flabbergasted. The amount of contents you get, just for the silver membership, is insane. Countless battlereports, free DVDs, painting tutorials, strategies, post-game videos, the works. I'm pretty sure that I will never get through it all, and I see this as a immensly good thing. If you like what you see on Youtube and you are thinking about joining, but are afraid to not get value for your money, allow me to stop you right there. If you have only seen the free stuff, you have just seen the tip of the iceberg. I can heavily recommend anyone considering in joining The Vault. It's a great value for money, awesome content and more time with the people that we love: The MiniWarGaming team. "Martin Nord from Denmark"Potential Vault Member, Kolonel Kraig here with a dispatch from the Bunker in DC ~ First off let me inform you of the type of individuals that are Miniwar Gaming.  I have had the honor of meeting Matthew, Dave and the rest of the MiniWar Gaming crew on a weekend gaming marathon at their headquarters located in Welland, Canada.  Without a doubt these guys are genuine gamers who truly love the game and the community they support.  They welcomed me and my sons as long lost friends and treated us as if they had known us for life.  Their website is second to none in regards to battle reports, informational videos, and just outstanding entertainment value as a whole.  With that being said, membership in the vault opens up twice the available content as opposed to being a nonmember.  The extra insight into the internal happenings of MWG – such as behind the scenes, outtakes, post battle reports, and the making of videos, opens up a wealth of entertainment/knowledge at such a minimal expense.  I feel they could even triple the cost and the vault would still be a fantastic value!  Combine the entertainment value with the fact that you receive discounts for gaming purchases for the higher memberships and you are able to more than save the cost of membership in a very short time.  In short the higher memberships pay for themselves AND you receive double the content from the website. No brainer here – join today. Happy Awesome Sauce War Gaming Kolonel Kraig                  "Kolonel Kraig from Washington D.C., U.S.A."Awesome battle reports, painting tips and Q&A's. Seriously, these guys awakened the slumbering 40k gamer in me. Each and every one of the miniwargamers have an ability to make their videos fun and exciting to watch. Best regards from Denmark!"Lasse from Copenhagen, Denmark"The Vault contains an awesome of collection of videos for just about any one. For people who are looking for something to watch for recreation, the numerous batreps of all kinds are great for entertainment. For me, the real treasure trove is the countless videos on painting, modelling, and converting. I have learned a lot from these videos which have greatly contributed to my enjoyment of the games. I highly recommend joining the vault, as there is always something to learn from or get a good laugh out of. Worth every penny! "ti9999 from New Jersey, USA"I've only been a vault member for a few days, but it's the best money I've ever spent on an online service. The access to the free DVDs alone is worth far more than the yearly subscription and is absolutely filled to the brim with helpful ideas and tools for gamers to get the most out of their miniatures. Literally hundreds of videos compiled into one place that will save me many hours of aggravation. A+, MiniWarGaming. Keep it up!"Brandon S from Portland, OR" The vault is a place of non stop entertainment; entertainment that rapidly changes to what you desire. There are the videos of every variety, from battle report to WWII background on some piece of tabletop scenery, to drybrushing techniques. But beyond this you can interact with any of the MWG personnel via live shows, make requests, tell them where they screwed up in a battle, throw around ideas or just bury yourself in nonchalant chit chat. The spark you once felt when beginning down the hobby path will be reignited, that flame kept burning strong. It certainly does for me. Thanks MWG!"bigoldfrog from Earth, The Milky Way"Once...the world of gaming was dark,and without warmth. A desolate plain awash with Internet trolls,and cheesie power gamers.Then a light in the distant north appeared and the weary casual gamers of the cosmos were drawn to it.Within this light there spun a glorious Cube of green and white,held aloft by two brothers in arms.BEHOLD MINIWARGAMING.The people rejoiced and declared that it was good. Then the Brothers saw that some amount the people wanted a place apart,a place of joy and contentment,where the Brothers could speak directly to the people and be spoken to in turn.Thus was The Miniwargaming Vault was created to meet the people's need,and it was good.Join us my friend,join the Vault and rejoice with us. Life on the Vault side is very good."Thayvian1 from Oak ridge Tennessee "The vault is a painter's best friend. I can paint very nice looking lenses because of the vault and their battle reports entertain me during the long hours of hobbying. I love the MWG vault and would heartily recommend it to anyone!"Alex from California, United States"Why YOU should join the miniwargaming vault? Well, beside the extra content and the occasional free DvD, the vault is a great place to meet, disscuse and share your part of any tabletop hobby! And don't forget, the more vault members, teh more content on MwG!"Martin B from sweden"A big thanks for MWG, I am most pleased I have found this site and I am enjoying a wonderful silver membership to the vault. If anyone whom reads this and is thinking of joining then DO SO! - don't put if off, it truly is great value for very little money and as a certain mini-war-gamer says "you will be loving your life!!" Being a vault member you are provided with not only 100's of hours of entertainment, but tutorials galore - from tactical play to painting and modelling. Yet the biggest benefit you will get is unadulterated inspiration. Joining the MWG community will inspire you to make it all your own, from painting to terrain tutorials, from banter-play down your local club and even wanting to film bat-reps to share with your mini-war gaming fellows! I look forward to seeing you here soon!"Zetr0 from Norfolk, United Kingdom"I was hesitant at first, I'm not a big battle report fan and that was most of what my exposure to MWG was. Once I signed up I've been hooked on all the terrain videos, the Tactica videos and most of all the painting tips - the quick tip painting series is worth the price alone!"Apocryphal Lore from Ontario, Canada"Its been worth the money for 2 years now. i joined for the tutorials and getting more batreps each week was a welcome bonus. Some weeks there's so much to watch i cant finish everything in the week. The vault is also great for getting to know everyone at MWG. They have posted some awesome behind the scenes videos that are humorous and a nice break from the batreps."Sketh from US"You should join the vault to get to view more painting tutorials and more of the best battle-reports on the internet, as well as to support the amazing people who make them possible."Anthony Zapata from San Antonio, Texas"The reasons I joined the vault was to get more content and learn more about the complicated games we play. I usually listen/watch while im at work, so its kinda like im playing as well. Which is really awesome because I only get to game once every 2 weeks or so. The vault also helps players up there game on painting which is an nice added bonus for me. I believe other members would enjoy the same."Chris Langs from Chicago Illinois"This site is amazing! join and you won't regret it."Daniel Hsu from Taiwan"These guys are great! Great videos and always lots of fun to watch. The 'quick tips' are super helpful. Thanks MWG!"troy95 from United States"Hi all! My name is Anna and I'm currently a Bronze member of the vault and a relative newcomer to the hobby (got into WH40K this July). The two main personalities on the Vault are Dave - a crazy, speed-talking, wild-eyed follower of the Chaos gods, and Kris, the master painter with the velvety smooth voice (seriously he kinda makes it difficult to paint when he's talking :P). Dave's battle reports and discussion on armies as well as earlier terrain projects were definitely handy and I can honestly say my painting skills have gone through the roof since I've been watching Kris's videos here in the Vault. If I had one issue with the vault - which really isn't a complaint - is there is SO much creativity going on here I want to do one of every project and well, I'm a college student with limited time/space/money so that isn't happening. Other than that y'all, you *NEED* to sign up, I mean it. :)"Jedigirl from Atlanta, Georgia"Hello MiniWarGamer staff and potential vault members! I rejoined the war gaming community after a hiatus of 20 years. I lured back by a MWG series of WH 40K tutorials on You Tube and was pleasantly surprised with the quality. I was particularly pleased with the painting tutorials by Kris M, and enjoyed the various Battle Reports. Which, lead me to want to see what was in the vault. I joined as a silver member and was blow away by the shear number of painting tutorials and DVD's that were available as a silver member. In the past I've joined other walled content sites and immediately regretted it. Not this time, now I'm considering upgrading to Gold."SC from Florida"To all of you out there considering joining the Mini Wargaming Vault.... Like a lot of you out there, I have a pretty busy life. Between work and family and the myriad of other distractions that happen day-to-day, it's hard to find time for our hobbies. So, for me, I often find myself staring at the shelves of unpainted grey plastic and metal, wondering how wonderful it would be to get those miniatures finished. Then I see the boxes of unbuilt miniatures and think, "I really should get started on those." All of this contemplation lasts for a whopping two or three minutes and then I'm distracted once more. C'mon you've been there! Since joining the Mini Wargaming Vault however, my procrastinating ways have begun to change. Inspired by the amazing content found here, I have a paint brush in my hand more often. A miniature gets assembled, and all seems right with the world (queue the symphonic music here.) Like a daily dose of nerdy Prozac wrapped in a cheese and bacon sandwich, Mini Wargaming's Vault keeps delivering Wargaming goodness that I look forward to. So to you, Guy or Girl sitting passively on the fence, get over your doubts, your fears, and become a Vault Member now! You'll not regret it!"Mr. Varanus from Indianapolis, USA"My favourite hobby site, the content i get access to for being a vault member is awesome. From painting tips to batreps, i love all the stuff i get here! Totally worth it!"Ken from São Paulo, Brasil"When I discovered MiniWarGaming a few years ago, I had just recently joined the 40K bandwagon. Recently, I joined the Vault because there were so many great videos with tips and tricks that I had never experienced before! I eagerly await the day when I can truly do my miniatures justice by using all these great tutorials techniques!"Angus Jameson from Ramsey, Minnesota

[stcrlghts]

Redecoration.

Summary: You and your boyfriend have just moved in together, calling for an immediate shopping trip to update your apartment. 

A/N: This is an idea I got because I went to Target to get one thing and ended up spending like $200 on pretty stuff. Also, it kind of sucks, but it was a cute idea and I really wanted to write it. 

As usual, shoutout to @hamilbye for reading this when it was halfway done for me and telling me it was an adorable idea. 

Pairing: Lin x Reader 

Warnings: All fluff, all the time (would I ever write anything else?) 

Words: 2,381 (I can’t even try to keep my word count low. Sorry.) 

Maneuvering your car into a tight parking space had taken ten minutes. Finding the parking space had taken half an hour. From where you sat, it almost wasn’t worth it. But then you glanced at the smiling being sitting next to you in the car and grinned. Lin was a toddler, already straining against his seat belt, trying to wrestle himself out of the car and into the store. You reacted immediately when he placed a hand on the door handle, reaching your hand out to grab his wrist, your body leaning over the center console. You laughed before growing stern, the look on his face just barely contained the excitement.

“Lin, let’s go over the game plan one more time.” You said this with a serious face, the way you’d been about your plans all morning. You had made this plan and gone over it with him last night. He swore he knew what the mission was, but his soft snoring during the study session last night made you think otherwise.

He pouted exaggeratedly, “(Y/N)! It’s a store. We’re here to buy stuff. Why do we even need a game plan?”

You shook your head, vowing to take this seriously despite how obnoxiously adorable he was being. Casting your gaze across the parking lot from where you sat in your car, your eyes landed on the store standing in front of this scene.

“Lin, I’ve explained this to you.” You sighed, turning back to him. What he couldn’t fathom was that you wanted to be in that store as much as he did.

“Explain it to me again. I like hearing you talk.” He grinned and you couldn’t fight back with a straight face.

“Lucky thing for you I talk a lot.” You retorted back, a playful smile crossing your face. You paused for a moment before reaching your hand towards Lin. You felt his hand slide into yours before you heard his voice.

“We’ve got this.”

You raised a brow, “We better. My parents only sent a limited amount of cash for this. And only because they like you so much.”

He laughed before releasing your hand, opening his door. You followed suit, making sure to grab your purse and cell phone before locking the car and stepping forward to the front of it, meeting Lin. Taking his hand again, you swung your intertwined hands in between your bodies.

“I can’t believe we’re shopping for our apartment. Together. For the apartment we own together.”

You didn’t glance over at Lin, but you could almost feel his smile. He was as joyous about it as you were, you already knew that. You had been dating for a year and a half. The month before today, Lin had mentioned to you over dinner that his apartment’s lease was ending soon. It had only seemed like the fair next step to let him move in with you. However, upon his moving in, you discovered just how little furniture you did have and that what you had needed to be replaced. You had deemed this the perfect opportunity for a little shopping and Lin had been all too happy to tag along to toss his input in. And so, this was how you had ended up in the Target parking lot.

You walked the rest of the way to the store in pleasant silence, your mind wandering over your memories with Lin and Lin passing his time humming a tune under his breath. Before you’d met him, humming had annoyed the hell out of you. Now, it was just another thing that reminded you of him.

You strode in harmony with him, you both reaching the automatic sliding doors at the same time. You gave Lin’s hand a tight squeeze before you both stepped over the threshold, entering the crispness the store offered by way of air conditioning and their décor. You had been in this store several times before, usually at least twice a month, so it only felt like… home to you. To your left was the store’s resident coffee shop, keeping the happy shoppers… well, happy and able to keep buying more products. Lin was silent as you continued to stroll, trying to pass several key sections of the store. When he saw the music section, he tugged on your hand.

“Pleaseee?” He asked expectantly, his eyes already gleaming with the joy of just being near music.

You sighed, obliging. “I should’ve brought him somewhere that didn’t have a music section” was what you said under your breath as you watched him release his grip on your hand and go scampering across the section. Though it took you off your planned path, you couldn’t help but grin at how passionate he was and how comfortable he was in his element. He browsed through the CDs left on the shelf, but quickly returned to where you stood.

Tilting your head, you said “Didn’t find anything that sparked your interest?”

He shook his head and shuffled closer to you, “No. I think I need to hit up a record shop soon.”

You put your arm around his shoulders, leaning in closer to him. “I’ll take you as a reward for today. I’ll even pay for all of your purchases.”

This perked him up, as you knew it would. But, before he could make words out of the excited twinkle in his eye, you spoke again.

“Don’t go crazy, though. I’ll be broke after this trip.”

He planted a kiss on your cheek, “Best girlfriend ever.”

You laughed, tugging him closer to your side as you continued to trek towards the department of your plans – décor.

Before you’d reached the area, you released Lin, rushing forward to grab a lamp that had grabbed your attention in its creamy blue color. Secretly, you had decided on a white, blue, grey, and creamy color palette for your apartment now that you got to redecorate. Lin didn’t need to know – women had to make some of these decisions. You could hear Lin chuckling as he followed you through the aisles, joyfully taking anything you could not carry. Every time you found something “pretty” and picked it up, you found another item. Before long, you had stolen two empty, abandoned shopping carts and filled them with items varying from lamps to pillows to decorative signs to coffee mugs to blankets to just about anything else you saw. All the while, Lin failed to be as quick with his input as you were to add things to the cart. He had listened to you talk the night before about how much you had always dreamed of decorating your own apartment in the city entirely with things from Target. That, as a girl with no home of your own, you had always wished and pleaded with the keeper of the stars to give you a place to call home one day. He knew this moment meant the world to you and he wasn’t going to be the one to stop you, especially when he was just enjoying how cute you looked, picking things out for the space you were going to live in together.

After an hour or so of being in the store, you had officially seen everything the décor, home appliances, and school supplies sections had to offer. You had filled the carts, and your heart, to the brim. You were overcome with the realization of how real your wishes and wants had become. That you had somehow attained all the things you had wanted for this time in your life. You had the perfect apartment in the city in where your heart lived, you had a boyfriend you adored and who adored you, and you had the secured spot in medical school. Lin had graduated a few years before from college, but you still had a few more to go until you could graduate with a Doctorate. At this point, the only thing that kept you going through your long, endless nights was Lin. He was solid and there for you, whether it was with gentle reminders to sleep and eat or with hugs or encouraging words – he always came through. When you fell asleep on top of your textbooks but woke up the next morning tucked in bed, you knew it had been him who had carried you to the bed and put away all your studying materials just as you liked them. He didn’t grow tired of it – he didn’t complain or insist you spend more time with him because he understood. He got that you were working towards a larger goal and that this was only going to be temporary and eventually it would all be worth it.

You were lazily wandering through aisles, wheeling one of the carts, leaning your weight against it. Lin was behind you, trying feverishly to use his phone’s calculator to calculate your total. You smiled, helping him fix his errors and finally coming to a total just under the maximum your parents had given you.

“That’s a lot of cash, (Y/N).” Lin remarked, eyes still on the calculator total.

“Yeah, I have something to remedy that.” You dug through your cavernous purse, finally feeling your wallet in your hand. You pulled it out and sifted through the contents, finding the envelope of coupons you updated regularly. Lin glanced over at you, his face a mask of confusion.

Pulling out the several Target coupons you had collected this week, you took the phone from his hand and subtracted them from the total. The calculations came to in your mind and you showed the final total to Lin, who looked only slightly shocked.

“That’s like a third of the cost!” He changed to entirely amazed and then proud all in one instance, taking the phone back from you as he looked at it again. “How did you do that?” He asked, the twinkle in his eyes showing his happiness.

You shrugged, “My mom taught me how to be a coupon queen. Go shopping with me and you can guarantee you’ll spend far less than what you bargained for.”

Just when you thought Lin couldn’t look any gladder, he did. He was still astonished when he spoke. “That’s super –”

“Nerdy? Geeky? Weird?” You guessed, cutting him off with your words and a smile, not at all taking offense to it. You knew most of your hobbies bordered on nerdy and you had learned not to care about what other people thought as long as you were pleased with them.

“Hot.” Lin finished, a grin reaching his face now too.

“That’s a new one.” You stated, walking back next to him, where he was still staring at you with that look in his eye.

“That’s because you don’t know how much I love nerdy girls.” He told you as you fought back another laugh.

He continued, “Especially when they can crunch numbers in their head with no mistakes. Especially when they save us $200 to spend later on my own nerdy habits.”

You smirked as he stepped forward, placing a kiss on your cheek before taking your hand.

“Why don’t you go check out and show off that nerdy coupon thing one more time?” He asked and now you had to laugh. He was being far too obvious and you were loving it far too much.

You continued his thought, “And then we can get out of here and go back to our apartment?” You shifted closer to him, your smirk growing as you watched him lick his lips, grinning as he contemplated what you were both thinking about.

His grin grew wider, “Yes, my dear, our apartment. Where we live, together. And where we share the same bed, together.”

Your smirk turned back into a full-on, beaming grin again, “I still can’t believe it.” You said, turning the conversation back to serious for a moment.

“What can’t you believe? That you get to share your life with the hottest nerd on the planet?”

You laughed, “That and that this is finally my life. The things I wanted the entire time I was a kid – it’s all here and it’s all right in front of me and I’m living it. I’m living the life that I, at one time, could only picture in my dreams. And I’m living it with you.” You avoided his eyes now, nostalgia overcoming you. You felt bad for ruining the moment, but you had to bring it up. There were days of your teenage-hood where you hadn’t believed in a future or that you would live to make it to it. Now it was here and you were an active part of it.

Lin grinned, holding your hand. “We both got very lucky with each other.”

Your gaze was cast downward, but you felt a soft smile on your face. You let Lin talk again because you couldn’t find the correct reply yet. Lin took his arm and wrapped it over your shoulders, tugging you closer to him.

“Now, what do you say you go check out and show off that insanely hot coupon stuff again and we get out of here?”

You laughed, “Whatever you want, nerd.” You walked back over to your cart and began to wheel it away, Lin struggling to keep up with you.

Fake shock registered in Lin’s voice, “I’m not the nerd here!” You could hear him jogging, his cart’s wheels rolling over the linoleum floor, as he tried to catch up to you. You continued to chuckle, quietly to yourself. He finally caught up to you and slowed his pace now, keeping perfect time alongside you.

“I believe you’re a bigger nerd, Lin.” You remarked back to him.

“Am not!” He countered, causing you to laugh again, so loudly it caught the attention of a passing employee.

“Are too.” You sing-songed, enjoying being back in your playful state. This was what was great about Lin – you could transition from serious and gloomy to playful and joyous with no complications. As you neared the check-out, you both continued your bickering. Going home, you continued to tease each other endlessly.

If this was what life was supposed to feel like, you realized, you wanted to feel this way every day.